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Third Grader tells me to close my eyes and extend my hand so he could show me his favorite rock. I expected a sample sized mineral, but he gave me an amethyst as big as my two fists.
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Another Third Grader, seeing the picture of a telephone pole: this is the stick where they impaled Jesus???
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Kid 1: "Ask me to read out loud! I'm good at that!" Kid 2: "Shut up, you couldn't even copy my homework right".
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"I'm gonna take a picture of you two and show it to my doctor as the reason behind my madness".
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"Teacher! How long can you hold your breath?!" Proceeds to SHOVE fingers up my nose while counting.
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I put my hand too close to a kid's mouth and he licked me. He's 11.
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"I'm tired of thinking!" Bold of you to say that, while coming to class wearing the shirt inside out.
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"I failed the exam because I'm dyslexic!!!" It was an oral exam. Also she's not dyslexic.
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"Can I have a snack?" "Okay, if you are careful". Proceeds to take out a can of tuna with tomato sauce and a fork, to my eternal horror.
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Kid thought that the female of "bro" is "bra".
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A Third Grader began to cry and wail because he didn't want to read, so I started crying too, to see what happened. "No no no stop that, I will read BUT STOPP"