this post was submitted on 09 Jul 2024
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The Internet in Ancient Times

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Welcome to the stone age... or the bronze age... or the iron age... heck, anything with an 'age' is welcome, except our modern age or any ages to come.

This is about what the internet was like thousands of years ago back when it all started. Like when Darius the Great hired mercenaries via Craigslist or when Egypt invented emojis.

CODE OF LAWS

1 - Be civil. No name calling, no fighting, keep your flint hand axes inside your leather pouches at all times.

2 - Keep the AI stuff to a minimum. It gets annoying and old fashioned memes are more fun for everyone.

3 - None of this newfangled modern 21st century nonsense. We don't even know what "21st century" means.

4 - No porn/explicit content. The king is sensitive about these things.

5 - No lemmy.world TOS violations will be tolerated. So there.

6 - There is no ~~rule~~ law 6.

Laws of justice which Hammurabi, the wise king, established. A righteous law, and pious statute did he teach the land. Hammurabi, the protecting king am I. I have not withdrawn myself from the men, whom Bel gave to me, the rule over whom Marduk gave to me, I was not negligent, but I made them a peaceful abiding-place. I expounded all great difficulties, I made the light shine upon them. With the mighty weapons which Zamama and Ishtar entrusted to me, with the keen vision with which Ea endowed me, with the wisdom that Marduk gave me, I have uprooted the enemy above and below (in north and south), subdued the earth, brought prosperity to the land, guaranteed security to the inhabitants in their homes; a disturber was not permitted. The great gods have called me, I am the salvation-bearing shepherd, whose staff is straight, the good shadow that is spread over my city; on my breast I cherish the inhabitants of the land of Sumer and Akkad; in my shelter I have let them repose in peace; in my deep wisdom have I enclosed them. That the strong might not injure the weak, in order to protect the widows and orphans, I have in Babylon the city where Anu and Bel raise high their head, in E-Sagil, the Temple, whose foundations stand firm as heaven and earth, in order to bespeak justice in the land, to settle all disputes, and heal all injuries, set up these my precious words, written upon my memorial stone, before the image of me, as king of righteousness.

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[–] HootinNHollerin 10 points 7 months ago

Last time I used my boomer mom’s iPad there were notifications from Truth Social every 10 seconds. Never again

[–] saltesc 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)

As someone with "Eh, it's alright" eyesight, I looooove dark mode interfaces. I can keep stronger contrast from increased brightness without getting melanoma on my face. In a room I'm around 70% brightness and it's still nice and dim.

[–] FlyingSquid 8 points 7 months ago (1 children)

By "dark mode interfaces" do you mean reading tablets by oil lamp?

[–] saltesc 4 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I use a trendy hipster low-light inefficient old-school bulb for reading hardcovered parchments. Give me a few more years.

[–] FlyingSquid 6 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I see.

One question.

What's a "bulb?"

Also, what is a "parchment?"

[–] saltesc 4 points 7 months ago (2 children)

A bulb is like a thin lamp that uses legal magic. A parchment is like a thin tablet that you can also use for wiping poo off your bum, depending on the author. They probably don't have these below the Cloud District.

[–] FlyingSquid 4 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] saltesc 2 points 7 months ago

Fabulous at haircuts, though.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

Uh oh, I sat on Mom's tablet and cracked it.

What should I do?

[–] brlemworld -1 points 7 months ago (1 children)

It's a red flag to me when people close all their apps. It shows that they have unlimited data and a huge battery. It uses less battery and data to keep them open. Rebooting an app every time consumes more data and CPU cycles.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

Wow, that's specific!

It is certainly a sign of ignorance