this post was submitted on 01 Jul 2024
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I'm currently working on a PhD, and I had a meeting that felt like an intervention with my advisor where she encouraged me to take a few months away from the program to take care of myself. For context, I used to work for the airforce, and apparently I picked up some pretty severe mental health problems that have lead to not sleeping and panic attacks when I read papers about military hardware (not ideal when my current interest is hardware side cybersecurity).

What the fuck does "take care of yourself" mean? Like, I don't know what to do with my hands. I've spent my entire life with a fast paced schedule, either with school work or some other crisis I've needed to attend to. Now I'm like... trying to accept going to therapy and I'm doing yoga with some people in my research group a few times a week, but i don't know what to do with my time otherwise. I feel like smoking all of the weed in this state playing video games and rotting in bed isn't the answer, but that's where I'm at. I'd love any advice or to hear from anybody who's been in that position of being told to take a few months off for mental health

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 4 months ago

Have you considered picking up a creative persuit? For example, learning an instrument, making a game, drawing stuff, that kind of thing? Hopefully should help with the feeling of not doing anything with your time (although be sure to not force yourself to do things when you don't have the motivation to do so).

[–] Pronell 8 points 4 months ago

There isn't anything all that wrong with smoking some pot and playing video games. Just make sure you're still taking care of yourself in other ways.

Keep clean. Cook your own food. Exercise, get fresh air. And yes, play some games, while high if that's what you prefer. All of that is taking care of yourself from a physical and mental health perspective, so you don't break down, or, ideally, panic while looking at schematics.

Therapy isn't a bad idea at all, but if you're resistant to that, check those other boxes of self-care and in the process you may gain a few healthier habits.

That prior paragraph is all me - I've always avoided therapy and have had a couple of breakdowns, including a lost decade. I'm now fifty and relatively happy with my life, but only because I did put in some work on myself.

You're off to a good start with yoga and hanging out with friends. Figure out how you want to fill this time, and enjoy yourself. Dabble in things. Find new passions. Life doesn't give you time off like this often.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I'd say do some exploration to find and/or pursue some activity that makes you happy that you don't normally have time to do, or don't prioritize. Spend some time in nature if possible. Give yourself permission to do something for yourself instead of for someone else.

If you're at all like me, you have a laundry list of projects that you are interested in but never get around to working on. That's always a good place to start.

Good luck, I'm rooting for you!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

Not OP but I'm also a person with an endless amount of projects to work on.

My issue is that I tend to work on them too hard or not at all. If I also have work, I utterly exhaust myself or find it hard to switch to work. I often start work immediately when I wake up because that way I don't have to switch to it.