this post was submitted on 18 Jul 2023
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Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Advanced_Way_3957 on 2023-07-17 17:37:54+00:00.


TMI, but it definitely applies to the story I (22F) have endometriosis, so I have really heavy flow for 7-14 days most of the time & the back and abdominal cramps are EXCRUCIATING. So I was dealing with that on top of being sick; the back of my throat felt like I was swallowing glass, it felt like there was a lump on either side of my throat, I was constantly nauseous, my hearing was kind of muffled, when I was standing I felt dizzy & like my head was in a fish tank. I worked 40-50 hours both weeks managing a retail store, so I'm standing, walking around, & dealing with people at my job.

My boyfriend (25M) went the whole time without getting sick, so I guess he didn't believe me when I told him what I was experiencing. He said I was "just having allergies." I thought he was probably right since it's summer & people don't usually get sick until fall/winter. I took allergy medicine & advil for my period pain & toughed it out at work. He gets sick the day I start getting better & he just lays there moaning, groaning & literally starts crying saying "my throat hurts so bad. I'm dizzy & foggy, I don't think I can drive to the laundromat today" we don't have washer/dryer hookup in our apt, I had to work the next day, & I can't drive because of my anxiety so I was upset. I didn't let it get to me though. I just told him that I didn't appreciate that when I was sick he said it was just allergies & still expected me to go to work. He apologized.

That was on a Saturday. I ubered to & from the laudromat & did my clothes so they could be clean for work. I ubered to & from work Sunday bc he was still feeling "too bad to drive". He works Mon-Fri 9-5 at a desk job, and he can do all of it from home. Monday comes, I'm off, & he goes to the Dr's to see what's wrong with him. He came back negative for all the tests they did, but they gave him antibiotics & 4 days off work bc his temp was 100.4. I figured he'd be working from home, but he decided that he was going to use his PTO instead. That's when I finally lost it "really? You're gonna use your PTO for that?" He said "yeah, I already filled out the form for it, & emailed them my Dr's note." I said "wow I can't believe you. When I was sick you told me that I just had allergies, & had me cooking breakfast before I go to work where I'm up & moving around all day & potentially getting other people sick, then cooking for you when I get home, & you can't even work from home at a job you just sit on your ass all day? What a big baby I also was cleaning up the apt because you haven't in weeks, and I put together the furniture all while being in unimaginable pain from my period, but you're going to use your PTO that could've been used for a Vacation together?" He ignored everything I told him, said "I'm tired" went, laid down, & fell asleep. I'm fuming. Am I being an AH? Should I apologize when he wakes up?

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