Agreed, but maybe spell out "Pick up artists" for the people who wouldn't know the acronym.
this post was submitted on 13 Jul 2023
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In mandarin, pua means 'granny.'
Damn granny, Always has the worst dating advice!
Yeah I thought it meant “potentially unwanted apps.”
Agreed, but I thought the text was already too small, but I will try to improve my upcoming memes :D
I believe the most common issue people face today is simply not getting to know enough people in order to find a partner.
Yeah cuz meeting people and getting to know them sucks on ice. I have no idea how you're supposed to do it without like going to school and being forced to be around the same people all day until you figure out which ones you hate the least as a matter of survival.
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Imagine if guys figured out that having g decent hygiene is like 70% of it. Women like a good smelling fellow. The other 50% is just being interesting and not all murdery.
Just in case, someone that smells like deodorant from 50 meters away is not considered a good smelling fellow.
Are you telling me that Axe bodyspray isn't actually an uncontrollable aphrodisiac to all women within 50 meters?
Weirdly the right amount of axe is probably attractive to most women within 50 meters, you just need to be about 1 meter away at the time.
Nah. Just keep it to a minimum. Or better yet, use something more mature/standard and don't smell like a teenager mid-puberty all day.
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Your maths are kinda off by a bit though
Shhhh, he smells good. He doesn't need to be good at math ok?
Thank you. You can have another 20%.
The hell is a PUA ?
Pick up artist
Thank you, only came to comments to figure out what that hell that meant
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Do I even want to mnow what a PUA is?
My main problem is meeting new people
Have you tried finding a hobby that involves interacting with people?
God no, that sounds awful. Unrelated, DAE wonder why they're alone?
Currently my main hobby is chilling with people. I also meet lots of new people, but the problem is that they're
- Mostly male
- Wayy too young or wayyy too old
Well, if what you're doing isn't working you should try something else. Try something more active than just chilling, and engage in a less male dominated community. You could volunteer your time somewhere, or join a club or team.
Your hobbies don't even need to be mainstream, if you're more of the nerdy persuasion there are plenty of women in the RPG and LARP scenes for example.
Ok, so half of the pick up artists I followed in my late teens were genuine sociopaths, but the great ones were just teaching deep introverted and confused guys how to socialize with people in general.
To be honest I doubt I would be married or have such healthy friendships if I hadn’t learned some of those skills that most people seem to pick up naturally in high school.
Laughs in minding my own business but being alone because I don't initiate
Slightly in tangent. But I think problem of finding a partner these days is that most of it now happens online, though dating apps. And they are a breeding ground of the most shallow and judgemental viewpoints in human history.
I forget the exact statistics, but according to some dating app, men swipe "yes" to like 60-something percent of the women. Women on the other hand swipe yes to like 4%. At a glance, while that does have a large disparity, you just think... Oh, women are more selective. And I think that's fine and they should be. But problem is that all other women are selecting the same guys. So the top tier men, whether in looks, height and/or wealth are banging 100s of women. While the bottom majority of men are never getting any matches. From the woman's perspective, every man they date is a cheater. That's obvious, these guys have girls lined up as far as the eye can see. They have zero reason to settle with you. From majority of the men's perspective, they never get any matches or get constantly ghosted and get angry. Majority of men don't cheat, frankly they don't even have the opportunity to cheat.
Men get angry at incredibly high standard of women which keep rising since women doesn't have problem sleeping with men higher in social ladder, albeit briefly. And women get angry at incredibly high number of guys who are just there for sex and have no interest in you as a person.
In real life, you see people first, build an understanding about them and start consider dating. If you know that guy is a cheater, a woman wouldn't pick them. A guy could go up and get to know them instead in dating app world where seemingly every woman ghosts you.
I think dating apps are ruining the "finding a partner" problem.
As a guy who struggle to date because I respect women as best I can, I sympathize with the mentality indicated, but also disagree that it is just a dating app issue.
Distilling it to a few points is, I believe, disingenuous to the very complex situation that modern dating is.
Although there is argument about the science, the book Sex at Dawn by Christopher Ryan is one of many that can help reframe the physiological and psychological background of partnering. Not insofar as it is valid, but that what we think we know is really much more under review and debatable.
Add the increase of women in the workplace, Title 9, the increase of an educated women (nay thr dominance of women in many masters and above programs), the urbanization of society, the increase of population dramatically and it's associated demographics shift towards an increase in women, etc, etc. There is a lot going on. Which definitely includes the change of technology in reaching peers and potential dates.
Our physiology has not changed nearly as much as the knowledge base has however. Which means many things, but among other things it means that physiology can be manipulated by technology. In this, I would agree there is a basis for arguing that dating apps are interrupting the interpersonal interaction.
Having said all that, anecdotally, I will also say not using apps and meeting people is impressively challenging for all the previously normal reason dating is painful... Assuming you can find a place to meet someone compatible.
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I wish my case was as easy as that. First time I'm even learning what PUA is.
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Man I'd hate being a young man today.
Guys are put in a position where they have to put themselves out there and face rejection. it's obviously becoming harder to connect with women given that a larger and larger percentage of men under 21 report being virgins every year.
Then as a result of being in this sad but common position you get told that it's all your fault and you're a shitty person.
I think I would have just ended up killing myself if I was a teenager today.
Feel like a higher rate of virgins could be a good sign that people aren't feeling pressured to do things they don't want to.
Virginity among women hasn't climbed in nearly the same way, most men 21 and under also report having never been in a relationship, young men's mental health has declined more than any other demographic, and incel culture seems to be on the rise.
I realllly don't think this is a good thing.
Women were under the opposite pressure: to stay a virgin. Also, some people don't want to be in relationships. In middle/high school, a lot of dating was obviously performative and they were only "dating" because of social pressures to do so. I'm no longer a teen, so I have no clue what the pressures are now. It could be the pressures are still there and more people are failing to meet them (hence, the incel community). I know they're not completely gone, because I still sometimes hear about things like people dating because they want to have someone for prom or whatever.
Given how complex mental health is, trying to tie it to just one thing that correlates with it is not very convincing. Likewise, even if incel culture is on the rise, it seems much more reasonable to connect that to the growth of the internet and the niche communities it allows to fester and become visible.
Why is it when anyone tries to acknowledge any sort of issues men have some asshole tries to dismiss them?
There's obviously issues. I grew up in a time that pressured people into doing things like dating and having sex they didn't want. Real issue men face. Are you dismissing that issue?
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A big part of this is moving everything online, it makes the available pool too wide and doesn't allow for things to be forgotten as easily. Meeting people in person allows the awkward stuff to be forgotten and the highlights remembered. It can still go terribly wrong, but there was more meaningful interaction.
Yeah the world is super fucked up. I met almost all my previous hook ups (along with my GF) in real life.
Also according to my single friends it got infinitely worse during covid. Although I'm in my late twenties and almost everyone over thirty says it's not super hard or anything. I don't know if that's a generational difference or old stereotypes are actually true.
I'm just glad that I grew up in a different era.
Then as a result of being in this sad but common position you get told that it’s all your fault and you’re a shitty person.
My point was that the pickup artists who claim that they are helping or empowering young men are in fact not helping them to get a healthy attitude towards the other sex or enabling them to be in healthy relationships. Instead (most of) the tips of the pickup artists are in contra productive and will make you sad, angry and alone. I don't think it's in their interest that you get healthy relationships, because that would mean that they would loose a client.
And I also do not think it's a good idea to suggest suicide to troubled teenagers.
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Probably
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