I just want to say, if you're struggling with a lack of sleep, there is a light at the end of the tunnel and that period of time will not last forever. Just keep on keeping on.
this post was submitted on 13 Jun 2023
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1 is 1 and two is ten. As i get older, old proverbs start to make sense.
Congratulations!! The piece of advice I wish someone told me is the first while sucks but it's temporary, and during that period the kid is going to be constantly learning. They're learning off of you, your partner, and the world, but mostly you as the parent. During this time, the kid will be doing nothing and might upset you with all the crying and what not. It is super important that you model the person you want your child to be. That means showing calm in the face of exhaustion and being yelled out by a tiny bundle of pee and poop (sometimes puke). Always calm, take deep breaths. Make sure that tiny thing knows you are there and you are unfazed. Model the person you want your child to be in this world.
Besides that, enjoy the ride. Hardest and funnest thing you will do!
Congrats!
Best advice is to lean on your support system as much as you can (I know not everyone has one) and in the newborn stage taking shifts between both parents if you have a non-sleeper. So one person takes first part of the night and the other takes the last part etc.
I also really regret not writing down firsts and filling out a baby book at the time but it was chaos and not a lot of sleep. So if you can find the time, write the important stuff down and take lots of photos (and a lot of photos of baby and mum as there are often less of them together).
My wife and I have been using a "pocket nanny" for shifts. It's basically just multiple timers to keep track of when the baby last ate or had a diaper change. It's nice when I get up early to get a quick idea of how long I have to get a bottle together. We also used it as an alarm to make sure he was eating often enough at the start.
With the shifts it really helps to try and optimize your own sleep too. My wife and I both sleep in eye masks now, which helps not wake your partner up if you need light in the bedroom. We've also found it makes taking a nap when the opportunity presents itself a little easier.
I think fatherhood is less about the child and more about parenting yourself. Watch how you respond to your little one. Sooth and calm yourself. Look after yourself. Treat your child like you would like to be treated. Model peace. And honor your child for they will soon be an adult.
When your child reaches adulthood you want to be able to appreciate memories of self-sacrifice, personal growth, laughter, and fun. You will influence your child. And your child will influence you.
One day they will strike out on their own. And you will have been changed forever because of that beautiful little independent part of you.
@zeste don't buy snap or button pajamas. At 3am they're a nightmare. Stick to the zippered ones
Oh yeah yeah. Congrats and all that
Congratulations! I have a 14 month old that I love to death :-) Here's my two tips:
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Prevent pee accidents while changing by taking a wet wipe and wiping down inside the front of the diaper. Then wait a minute or so before opening the diaper (use this time to gather all the other things you need like a fresh diaper, cream, etc). A sudden feeling of "cold" down front triggers the pee reflex. That's why babies tend to pee when you open the diaper. The wet wipe also triggers it so they're done peeing by the time you open up the diaper.
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When they're a little older and start to eat solids, make sure you spread butter, condiments, jelly, etc. all the way to the edge/crust of the bread! Dry crusts with nothing on them turns kids off from eating them. My kid always eats his crusts unless a new tooth is coming through.
Always, always, always pack an extra change of clothes for EVERYONE! Babies are explosive and it doesn't matter if you think they're empty, even if you "know" they're empty, they will explode and it will get on anyone and anything within 5 feet.
Also, congratulations!!! It's an amazing experience. I was never the "I cannot believe I love someone so much now!", I was and will always be the "Oh no, this thing is going to break, it's too fragile!" Whatever you feel, it's appropriate.
Babies are like guns. Treat every baby as if it's loaded.
My advice: rent a Snoo. They seemed like a gimmick for rich schmucks, but my husband convinced me to give it a try. You feed and change the baby, strap them into the Snoo, push the button, and let the contraption do its thing. Instead of sitting for hours soothing the baby, I could use that time to sleep. It only works for those newborn months, but that's what it's for. After that you just ship it back and switch to the crib. Well worth the money, in my opinion.
I'm not a shill, I swear. I'm just a mother who really likes sleeping.
Edit: and congrats! You'll do great!
A thousand times yes! Of all the crap we could have skipped or skimped on, the Snoo is the one thing I would never ever compromise on. We will be renting it again for our second baby, and I don't even care that it would have been cheaper to buy it. We didn't have to store it for two years, and we don't have to deal with selling one. (Plus, we didn't know for sure at the time whether we were going to have a second.)
And there's a reason the Snoo got FDA approval: when used correctly it keeps your sleeping baby safely on their back. So on top of it being a huge help to tired-ass parents, it's also peace of mind.
From another no-shill who fucking loves – LOVES! – sleeping.
One thing that I've heard can easily happen to new parents is leaving a baby in the car with any small change of routine. So leave your wallet or phone in the backseat any time you drive, that way it's a habit to look into the backseat when you get your destination. Especially important in the summer and winter months.