this post was submitted on 14 Jun 2023
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Menopause

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'Menopause isn't really that bad'...said no woman ever.

For those who are approaching or experiencing 'the change' (think reverse puberty), a time where hormone levels decline either through the aging process or by medical/surgical means.

Menopause and Perimenopause (the transitional time before Menopause) are unique to every person, and while there's no one-size fits all, we support each other on this roller coaster ride of wacked out hormones, absurd mood swings and random sweaty hot flashes.

Be kind. Be respectful. We are all in this together!


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Before you start to read, thank you if you get to the end..and FYI I live in Europe, not it the USA or UK. English is not my first language too.

I am 52 in peri for the last 10 years. Since I was having really heavy bleedings my gynecologist recommended and asked me to agree to a curettage.

I said OK because..well, I am tired of it all and if that would help, why not. She has scheduled the date and time for the surgery but I had to have an appointment with the anesthesiologist first.

Before that appointment the nurse gave me a form to sign with all possible side effects described in detail...I felt really uncomfortable about those side effect and had informed the nurse that I have changed my mind. Her answer was that she can't do anything about it and I must speak to the anesthesiologist.

The moment I entered his office I knew that this is not happening. His first reaction was: "Oh, you are HUGE! (I have gained 23 kg in the last 10 months)...and of course you are diabetic!" He said while reading my papers.

His next remark: "Well, yes..who would have guessed..you are depressed too."

I have tried to tell him that I don't want to do this procedure but he kept on going: "Since you are so BIG, I am going to try first with epidural which can leave you paralysed..just so you are warned and if that doesn't work I will put you completely under."

I was so furious at that point that I just told him to forget the whole thing got up and left.

My gynecologist is now so angry with me that she is not answering to my calls or emails. It is rather difficult to find a good gyno here..especially the one who speaks English.

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[–] mishellaneous 6 points 1 year ago

I don't really have anything to suggest (I'm in Australia), but I wanted to say I'm so sorry that happened to you! What an awful experience. You deserve to be treated with care and compassion (as does everyone), especially in a medical setting where we are often scared and vulnerable. I hope you are able to find another gyno (or you have a good doctor/ gp who can refer you) who treats you with respect and understanding.

[–] Mohkia 6 points 1 year ago

Omg! Just reading this fills me with anxiety and rage. I am so sorry you had to go through that! So scary. We have to go through so much and these medical "professionals" often make it worse. I truly do hope you find a better doctor and feel better soon.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

What an absolute horrible experience. And then the doctor is ghosting you! I am glad you listened to your intuition and got out of there.

[–] unexplaineditem 4 points 1 year ago

It's just so disgusting that these medical "professionals" can treat you this way. I am so sorry that you had to experience this. If you have the energy, I would put in a complaint. You do not deserve to be spoken to and treated like that at all.

[–] Aviandelight 3 points 1 year ago

Sounds like the whole office lacks professional and bedside manners. I really hope you are able to find a better practice.

[–] Felixthecat 2 points 1 year ago

What a gigantic asshole.

[–] marfphh 2 points 1 year ago

This is horrible. No one should treat you this way. I am so sorry this happened to you. I'm so glad you left when you did. I hope you can find a new gyno who treats you well.

[–] AstarteOfCaelius 2 points 1 year ago

Holy shit. O_o I think I’ve known rodeo vets with better bedside manner than that guy. Is there some sort of regulatory process for reporting this? I mean, this is someone you’re meant to trust in a very intimidating situation- they shouldn’t be flapping their yap like this. That’s just god awful.

[–] purplerain_1313 1 points 1 year ago

Thank you all for your nice words. I was not able to reply sooner...to depressed and tired.