this post was submitted on 11 Mar 2024
251 points (88.6% liked)

Asklemmy

44151 readers
1717 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy ๐Ÿ”

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
 

I am not a native English speaker and I have sometimes referred to people as male and female (as that is what I have been taught) but I have received some backlash in some cases, especially for the word "female", is there some negative thought in the word which I am unaware of?

I don't know if this is the best place to ask, if it's not appropriate I have no problem to delete it ^^

(page 2) 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[โ€“] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

I think it's because it's mostly used by "sigma male" seing womens as objects(not sure thought, but that's what i've seen).

[โ€“] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago

If you say "This female" vs. "This woman", it could be considered very rude. English is very context dependent.

[โ€“] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

Others in this thread will tell you it's only acceptable as an adjective or for animals. That's not true. Here are some non-adjective uses that most people wouldn't consider misogynistic on the surface:

  • A female changing room (noun adjunct)
  • Female-only spaces. (noun)
  • Sorry, this shelter is only for females. (noun)
  • This procedure is not recommended for females. (noun)
  • Only females are eligible for this award. (noun)
  • "Is the person you're going out with tonight a male or a female?" (noun, my mom said this)
  • "A male character has no stats difference compared to a female." (Probably an adjective but arguably not)

That said, "I am a single man looking for a female" is pretty gross usage. Also, please note that some of these examples may be transphobic in nature.

load more comments (1 replies)
[โ€“] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago (3 children)

Can you give us more context?

"Woman" is almost always preferred because it respects one's personal identity, as opposed to the compulsory status of biological sex, which is often used as a source of belittlement and/or bigotry against women. (and carries a whole plethora of baggage when people decide they get to judge someone's female-ness)

But it doesn't mean that you shouldn't generally be able to use the term "female" without causing social friction, if you have a good amount of social grace.

(its actually quite normal in fantasy/scifi circles, for example)

I think you may be asking the wrong question- you may want to explain what you were talking about and ask what specific phrases or situations might have unsettled people.

Maybe it was just a weirdly specific English faux pas, or maybe you have a friend who is a little extra sensitive after bad experiences and who could use your support. Maybe its a total miscommunication- who knows?

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments
view more: โ€น prev next โ€บ