Here's some news: I switched over to XFCE Mint on my w10 bloated former-school-laptop now ~~porn-machine~~ (ahem) bedside-reader, and it's running well enough that I no longer feel like dousing it in gasoline, running about 10 nails through it, then setting it alight.
Seriously, I'm strongly considering switching my desktop over.
Hooray for linux!