this post was submitted on 14 Jun 2023
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Neurodivergence

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Hi, so I've been wandering this all my life, but how do others get the energy to finish and do things?

My ADHD/Autistic brain has trouble getting the simplest of chores done, simply due to me not being able to start or continue past a mental block.

I've been taking meds for my depression, and it seems to have helped but... If anyone has some tricks they've used to get by, please let me know.

Thank you in advance for the help!

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 years ago

I use my phone as the second half of my brain. Lots and lots of scheduled reminders. Which is not going to work for everyone, but it works for me.

[–] speedycat2014 2 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

It's a challenge to be sure. I can't say how I get something started necessarily, that's often just the luck of the draw and how well my meds are working that day.

But I have ADHD and I try to be aware and quickly recognize when I get into a "state of flow" and preserve that state whenever I'm there, for as long as possible.

What this looks like, is my husband bringing me food if I am on a bender cleaning out a closet or heads down working on a presentation at work.

It also looks like me staying at work late unexpectedly because I can't interrupt a good flow, or coming home and delving right back in as soon as possible.

Or me not remembering or caring to eat until I run down so much I can't keep going.

So as you can see, I use both healthy and non-healthy "coping mechanisms".

I exploit the state of flow whenever it comes, as much as possible, and muddle/hobble through when I'm not there. Of course, coming up to a deadline increases the chances that I'll get into a state of flow, if not just out of adrenaline and fear of really screwing up and missing a deliverable.

Edit: You mentioned that you're on meds for depression. If your primary diagnosis is something like ADHD and the depression is a secondary, comorbid condition, treating the ADHD will be very useful. My psychiatrist diagnosed my primary issue as ADHD and didn't want to start treating me for depression until we worked through getting me on ADHD meds and getting on the right meds, titrated at the right dose helped a huge amount. Once my ADHD was under control, my depression and anxiety were reduced considerably.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

So as I understand it, you try to get in the mood for it, and then you try to continue doing it for as long as possible?

My psychiatrist said that the meds I got will help me with both ADHD and Depression, I hope he didn't lie to me.

[–] RQG 1 points 2 years ago

Getting in the mood or using momentum works for me as well. I often ask myself "What is the biggest chore or task I could do right now, no matter how small?" and try to use the doing-something-mood or momentum or flow this created. That way "okay I guess I can put on some socks because my feet are cold for an hour" turns into "might as well get dressed while I'm here" turns into "oh right the laundry, might as well" turns into "and the kitchen is cleaned at least somewhat" .... and so on. Doesn't always work but it's good enough to make me seem functional to most people.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago

Honestly I (AuDHD) tend to leave things until the last possible minute and then panic-crunch to do the thing out of a fear of disappointing whoever the thing is for. The problem of course is if the thing doesn't have a hard deadline or person who needs it done then I can put it off indefinitely.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago

For hard things, that I don't like doing, this is quite an issue for me. I really have to do it now, or have a strict schedule for when I would do it. If I delay something till tomorrow, well, then it can probably also be done the day after that ... So generally I just try to avoid delaying things that don't need to be delayed.