this post was submitted on 06 Jul 2023
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Let me preface by saying, I would love to hear counter points and am fully open to the fact that I could be wrong and totally out of touch. I just want to have some dialogue around something that’s been bothering me in the fediverse.

More and more often I keep hearing people refer to “normies”. I think by referring to other people as “normies”, whether you intend to or not, you inadvertently gatekeep and create an exclusive environment rather than an inclusive one in the fediverse.

If I was not that familiar with the fediverse and decided to check it out and the first thing I read was a comment about “normies”, I would quite honestly be very put off. It totally has a negative connotation and doesn’t even encapsulate any one group. I just read a comment about someone grouping a racist uncle and funny friend into the same category of normie because they aren’t up to date on the fediverse or super tech savvy or whatever.

I don’t want to see any Meta bs in the fediverse. I barely want to see half of the stuff from Reddit in the fediverse. I don’t want to see the same echo chamber I do everywhere else.

I do want to see more users and more perspectives and a larger user base though. I want to see kindness and compassion. I want to talk to people about topics they are interested in. I want to have relevant discussions without it dissolving into some commentary on some unrelated hot topic thing.

I think calling people normies creates a more toxic, exclusive place which I personally came here to avoid.

Just my two cents! I know for most people using the term it isn’t meant to be malicious, but I think it comes off that way.

Love to hear all of your thoughts.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I can't take anyone who uses "normie" seriously. The meme video plays in my head instantly, and I laugh at it.

I agree with the toxic use of it being dumb. Which is also why I can't take it seriously. But yeah, doesn't make it less infuriating or hurtful.

Also I've co-opted it into fun new ways like, "hetero-normies" and "neuro-normies" all as a joke

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I prefer the scientific label: Norman.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

I’m something of a scientist myself

  • Norman
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I embrace it. It's my core identity. Now excuse me, I have to put up some shelves.

On more serious note:

I want to see kindness and compassion. I want to talk to people about topics they are interested in. I want to have relevant discussions without it dissolving into some commentary on some unrelated hot topic thing.

Hear hear, I salute you

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Love everything about this haha

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Normies don't exist. Like birds.

[–] aloeha 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Its in the chorus of a song by one of my favorite bands and I cringe every time I hear it.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

yet another term I have never encountered till I did.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I also read the comment about the racist uncle, it was a discussion of the different kind of people facebook (I won't call it meta) will be going to expose us when they join the fediverse. The person who post it wasn't attacking the "normies".

About the term "normie" isn't necessary an insult or just a person who isn't up with technology, but instead someone who enjoy more basic things. Is OK to be a normie if that's makes you happy.

I don't get why is OK for them to call us "nerds" (most of the times in a not sarcastic manner) but not for is to call them "normies" (in a sarcastic manner).

Most of the times that we invite a "normie" to the fediverse they reject us, "I don't like that", "facebook is better", " that's for nerds" they say, and that happens also with music, books, even food, they are just comfortable with how things are and that's OK.

It isn't that we are gatekeeping, but instead that they don't want to join us.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

To me how you are talking about this is kind of exactly my point. The “normie” you are describing just sounds like an asshole and I think that’s the negative connotation and exclusion I’m talking about.

What would you categorize me as? I surf, skate, lift weights, travel, was in a fraternity at a major university, have a beautiful wife and live in suburbia in California close to the beach, started my career in finance and sales (not anymore though). On the flip side, I have ADHD, I have a masters in pharmaceutical sciences, I work with a team of software engineers, I game, tinker with my PC, I read scientific journals on particle physics and a ton of sci-fi and fantasy, I read tech blogs every day, I love the fediverse, etc.

See what I’m getting at? Like it is totally creating an unnecessary and unhelpful division in my eyes.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

A true normie would end up being pushed out for a myriad of other reasons first. If they even come to a place like this in the first place.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Normie is a term used in many circles, not exclusively fediverse. I don't think it's a slur, as the people who use it aren't inciting violence or enacting discriminatory pricing or whatever. It's like calling a person boring.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Often times the only reason people use certain trigger words is because they know they are trigger words. The more you reveal your triggers, the more some people will use them.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

I've become comfortable with saying, "it's not worth it being normal", and thus am ok with the normie tag, even if I don't want to turn it into a slur. Normal is a form of social construct that tends to be imposed on us: it's when the teacher enters the classroom and the class sits down and shuts up, not because they explicitly agreed to, but because it was normalized. There isn't anything in particular suggesting that normal = good.

And that does have an elitist ring to it, which does upset the goal of equitable outcomes in some ways. There are certain philosophies in which a premise of elitism is assumed, as in, some people just won't be able to access the necessary understanding to participate, so it's better to have a gate than to let anyone wander through. This is the view of Leo Strauss and followers - for a really detailed explanation try Arthur Melzer's book Philosophy Between the Lines.

Even if you don't read that book(it's a good book), I would make the case in this way: it's the difference between online gaming that uses automatic matchmaking, versus a martial arts dojo. Online gaming and toxicity correlate because there is no lower bar on who can play, so all sessions are pushed to the lowest common denominator of cheating, griefing, etc. But someone who participates in martial arts like a gamer gets kicked out of the gym, if the standards are high: an instructor who values students does not let them attempt to eyegouge each other or slam their head on the mat.

Occasionally someone like that will sign up for a tournament, commit an illegal move in the first round, and get themselves disqualified. But they can leave their opponent seriously injured in the process, and maybe end a career. So the standards tend to condition a degree of gatekeeping, respect for others, etc. Not every gym does well at this, and some styles like boxing have a norm of "hard sparring" where full-contact is trained and damage is expected. But predominantly the focus is on getting the techniques and training without destroying yourself or others.

And I do liken the idea of complete access to, essentially, allowing dirty street brawls to be the only kind of sparring, the only way in which you can interact online with strangers.

Martial artists also sometimes use the normie term. They will say it outright: you have to be a weirdo to spend so much time getting beat up and choked out. We can have a gate and still be tough on ourselves to do better.

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