this post was submitted on 13 Jan 2024
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Dating

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Girl at work (self.dating)
submitted 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) by Purgatoryemployee to c/dating
 

Asking a girl out at my workplace.

Hey family! Sooooo. First time posting here, not sure what to include - I’ll try my best.

I’m a vendor that shows up at different locations of work. Then later while I was busy, she said “hey how’s your day going?” And I didn’t hear her and she walked in front of my line of sight to get my attention and ask me again. we were talking after and I mentioned the idea of coffee. She asked “why” and chuckled.

Again later, I told her the next location of work I would be at sometimes I don’t like working there. She said “oh yeah, I go there sometimes.” I said “maybe I’ll see you then!” And she said yeah maybe you will.

Fast forward a week later she shows up with her female friend, and tried chatting but I was busy.

I’m back at her location of work and a few friends recommend different things. I told them “I don’t think she’s interested” And they were like are you crazy?! She brought a friend as a second opinion.

One friend recommended I just go up to her and chat and then say “hey why don’t I text you my number in case you wanna grab coffee outside of work” Another said that might be too direct. She might be nervous cuz she does like me but is intimidated, she just to just be romantic and leave a piece of paper in the shape of a heart with my number and name.

What do yall think?

Edit: I don’t personally think she’s “the one” I don’t like pressuring things that are uncertain. I just want to start practicing

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Definitely don't leave your number in a heart. That's cringy even for hallmark.

You're over thinking it. Next time you're chatting, just say "hey I'm on my break now/soon,, want to grab a coffee (or a lunch)?" and start from there.

[–] shalafi 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

LOL, I said the same but used a few hundred words.

[–] surewhynotlem 4 points 10 months ago

"hey, I'm on break in a few minutes. Want to grab a coffee?"

And if coffee goes well, at the end of it:

"That was fun, but way too short. Dinner sometime?"

[–] shalafi 1 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

You're going to get advice against dating a coworker, and I'd normally agree. Maybe I'm misunderstanding the situation, but it sounds like you're not often in the same space? Maybe that would be OK.

"she walked in front of my line of sight to get my attention and ask me again" Remove head from butt sir, she wants your attention. You realize she probably had to work herself up to that? Your turn.

"She asked “why” and chuckled." That was your cue to say anything, even if you had to stutter it out. "Uh..., because I'd like to know more about you, and, uh, stuff like that." Gods man, any indication of interest would have done fine.

Fortune favors the brave. Women favor assertive men.

Don't ask to exchange numbers. Women don't like slinging their number out there. What if you're a creep and now you have her line? Nah. Directly ask her to go to $place after work. Polite and assertive and maybe a little doofy, "Want to get a coffee date at Starbucks? Uh, with me I meant...?" Use your own words, be genuine above all else.

Yes, call it a date. That's what you want, right? Then set expectations right off. If that's not what she wants, she can politely decline. And that's the worst thing that happens. She politely declines and now you know the score. Unless you've somehow totally misrepresented the situation, she's going to say yes.

After all the women I've dated who later told me, "I didn't think you were interested.", damn. I was too focused on being a nice guy, terrified of coming off pushy. Never wanted to be that guy. A woman had to pretty much throw herself in my lap before I'd get a clue. LOL, a woman literally did that one time and my dumb ass was thinking, "Oh wow! I think she's into me!"

I'm still a bit clueless. When I met my wife, she grabbed my hand before we left the parking lot. "Uh, maybe she likes me?" Don't be me.

For the love of all gods, do not, I repeat, do not do the heart shaped note. Gag me with a wet Dorito, that sounds so stalkerish.