Eyes open just enough to make sure I don't step on the dog.
this post was submitted on 05 Jul 2023
537 points (98.9% liked)
Memes
45117 readers
3010 users here now
Rules:
- Be civil and nice.
- Try not to excessively repost, as a rule of thumb, wait at least 2 months to do it if you have to.
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
LPT - only open one eye if you need any lights. Instead of being blinded by the light only to be lost in darkness when you turn it off, the eye you kept closed will remain more adjusted to the dark so you don't step on the dog after you turned the light back off.
My bathroom is literally two feet away from my pallet bed and this is how drunkenly decimated my big toe on the corner of one of the splintery pallets.
Woke up with my foot glued to the blood-soaked blanket, and bloody footprints leading to the bathroom from half-consciously trying to rinse off my foot at another point in the night lol. Straight up looked like I'd murdered someone, I had no idea a toe could bleed that much.
Do you plan to upgrade your bed?
The palettes ARE the upgrade. Before that I had my mattress directly on the floor.
You must be my sleep paralysis demon
The trick is to never open you eyes. Pee on the floor if you must
Sometimes I want to pee so bad that I dream I got up and went to pee. Then I realise it was just a dream and really have to go.
MeIRL
Must be nice. My alarm goes off at 4am. I'm out the door by 4.50am.
Must be nice. My alarm goes off at 7am, so I pee my bed.
Jesus Christ you plebs! Buy a toilet light that is motion sensored to illuminate the bowl to whatever colour you want.
No need to turn on the lights.
I don't suggest changing the light to red either. Also, I do not suggest putting it to the rear of the toilet.
Just pee to the side of the toilet while you watch the light.
It's much better than turning on the light, peeing to the side of the toilet, and then going back to bed being kept up by wondering if you clean stuff up now or first thing in the morning.
But what if I want to burn my eyes out at 4 in the morning
Easy. Pretend you need to barf.
Switch light to red.
Kneel down, drive the procelein bus and pee as you pretend to need to get sick
You will still go to bed with those racing thoughts of cleanup. Or your downstairs neighbor will bang on your door, but your retinas will still tell your brain you are seeing a bright light.