Post funny things about programming here! (Or just rant about your favourite programming language.)
Rust: you are transgender
ASM: you are a nerd
Python: You are a high school student
Java: Your brain is so big you can accomplish anything.
PHP: You could likely do it all in JavaScript
HTML + CSS: You don't know programming but still want to look cool. If you need JavaScript you can ask ChatGPT.
Brainfuck: you like to brag
Python one is so fucking real as a high school student but I also know JavaScript and bash
Hey, I’m an engineer and a nerd and I prefer R. It not only does statistics, it lets me show them so clearly a business major can understand the implications
Look, I was forced to learn R (very badly) for my PhD (which I didn’t complete). So technically I’m not a nerd (it’s sadder than that). Yay!!
I don't see Haskell on there!
You are a nerd that published white papers.
Chat GPT does all of my coding for me and even scolds people for culture war hot button issues. Life is exactly like the jetsons
in my completely accurate and objective opinion:
i use Rust btw
Perl: You're an old nerd who remembers before Python was a thing, or else a nerd who really likes funky syntax and symbols everywhere and PHP just wasn't right for you.
Raku: You're an old nerd who remembers before Python took over from your former beloved Perl and instead of opting for simpler, cleaner syntax, you decided that being able to go the other way entirely was absolutely for you, or else you're a nerd who likes really, really funky syntax and Python, PHP and even Perl seem too much like kids toys.
Ada: You're an old nerd who was taught it at some college or other or else you're an engineer writing mission critical systems and this is the language everything is written in and no-one will switch to anything else.
BASIC: You're an old nerd (you might be sensing a theme here) who taught themselves programming at some point in the '70s, '80s or '90s and you'll get around to learning another language some day, but right now this interpreter you found online that runs in a console window suits you just fine.
Shell scripting: You're a nerd who really ought to rewrite some of those unwieldy beasts in something else at some point but you've learned it this way and don't have time for anything else right now. Time for another hack.
Powershell: You're a nerd who's found something that "really makes sense, you know?"
COBOL: See Ada but exchange "mission critical" for "banking".
Prolog: You are a nerd who plays Towers of Hanoi in their head for fun.
Haskell: You are a nerd whose flying saucer is a glass dome followed by a function that describes the rest of it, which may or may not be the same function that described the glass dome in the first place.
Lisp: You are a nerd for whom parentheses make you feel warm and fuzzy, if not other feelings that cannot be spoken of in polite company. If you like Emacs, you like Emacs.
Oh, I like Emacs, alright. I spend more time in Emacs than in my partners.
What your favorite programming language says about you:
JavaScript: Error: "You" is undefined
What uf Kotlin is my favorite?
Where's the geek? I know at least one of these has to require special training, and a geek is just a highly trained nerd.
Ah yes, the programming language known as "React JS"
What about whitespace?
There's a programming language for that
Let's go HP-VEE