this post was submitted on 29 Dec 2023
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Who would win? Battle boarding

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Teal'c from Stargate SG-1 carrying a Jaffa staff weapon and Warf from Star Trek TNG carrying a phaser and Bat'leth arrive aboard opposite ends of The Axiom from WALL-E, which is deserted except for the robots. Neither are armored but both can detect the location of the other once per day.

It is a battle to the death. Discuss...

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[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

Warf has a technological advantage... a hand phaser is WAY more powerful and versatile than a staff weapon. If Teal'c has a symbiote, he's probably the equal of Warf in strength and stamina and he also has a minor healing factor that Warf does NOT have... however, if Teal'c is on Tretonin, he's just a human in near peak shape and Warf's Klingon anatomy gives him the solid advantage there. In terms of warrior skills, the two are very evenly matched.

I think it's Warf 6/10 if Teal'c has a symbiote and 8/10 if he doesn't.

However, there's also no real scenario that doesn't go something like this:

  1. They hunt each other and exchange fire until Warf is wounded by the staff weapon.

  2. They end up going hand to hand and even in his wounded state, Warf wounds Teal'c with his Bat'leth. Probably in the symbiote pouch out of sheer dumb luck, so you know, nix the healing factor (assuming Teal'c has it).

  3. Warf drops the Bat'leth for some dumb reason (they're on the Axiom, so probably crates or barrels randomly falling on him) and they end up grappling.

  4. Both weakened and losing blood, they end up in a truce after fighting each other to a stalemate, too weak to keep going.

  5. Once they have nothing to do but talk to each other, they become bros for life.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

Simply excellent. I appreciate the thoroughness and detail!