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How do I start same-sex dating and romance? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I've been fighting off writing this for a while now. I even considered making a throwaway for it, but I guess if its too embarrassing I can delete it.

I've sorta come to accept I'm bi in recent years, and I am wondering how I should go about dating and courtship in regards to dating within my same sex (male). Especially since I find femininity to be a key attraction point. I also haven't dated or had sex in like, three years or more. Its been a while, I kinda stopped caring for myself and focused on work, I am slowly trying to become an interesting person again, get back in shape but its hard. I dunno, man. I'm in my mid-30s and I am trying to figure out what I want out of the world. There's a bit of lust involved. And I definitely need a hug at the very least.

Furthermore, I live in the Southern part of the US, and the amount of trans hate has me actively wanting out of here (I'm aiming for Colorado) and dating in this part of the Southeast is already difficult as is, in my prior experiences.

How does one navigate this kind of world after coming out? How do I deal with the stigma especially since in the states, there's a renewed interest in putting people back in the closet?

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

I have lived here all my life and I've been sick of it for a long time now (for non-sexual orientation reasons). One of the reasons I never really left it, was my father. He passed away last year from dementia-related causes, and that kinda lined up with some personal desires. Atlanta is a gay mecca and I have considered going back to Atlanta, I really miss it so. But at the same time, I've visited Colorado and its beautiful out there. I know I should stay here and try to fix things, but I'm in a purple city, Nashville is increasingly expensive (Colorado more so, I am aware), and I don't like it here anymore for many reasons.

I failed to address the other point of the comment so here goes: There's a lot I could be doing to help LGBT people here, but my abilities are really limited outside of advocacy and financial support (which I do) by the makeup of the state assembly, and the politicization of the issue being used to gerrymander and twist the legislative. This is a problem all through the South, where purple cities are bastions of sanity. Tennessee isn't like Georgia, where the tide has pretty much shifted even in rural/suburban areas. It would be a long fight, and i'm not wanting to waste the second half of my life on it, its not guaranteed I can shift things. Anything I can do from the outside for the younger generation to fix it, I will do.