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What person can help me sort out the big picture of my life? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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21M, my life right now is such a mess.

My childhood feels deficient in some things, I really want to move out, my life is spread over multiple countries and I can't decide how to fit each into my future, I'm struggling & demotivated at university, and I've had no success dating and just can't figure out why.

I have a long term plan to get myself out of this but I'm afraid that the plan may prioritize the wrong things or be naively ambitious or specific. I'm AuDHD and seeing as it was my thinking that got me into this mess, my plan to fix it is probably riddled with the same mistakes. Which would mean I'd stay stuck where I am.

What would really help me is to consult my plan with a wise person who has watched many people's life trajectories and who would be able to advise me on what parts of my plan are naive or likely to fail. Since I am AuDHD, I also need someone who will alert me to the sorts of narrow-minded ways of thinking that got me to where I am, because I am obviously blind to these. Or maybe the problem is that I think too much altogether. I can ask for individual pieces of advice on Lemmy but I'm looking for someone who would look at my life in a more holistic way.

What sort of person would be able to help me? I have tried coaching but coaches seem to focus more on CBT and have lacked the wisdom that I am looking for here.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'm Audhd and pretty much use my psychologist for all of this.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

How did you find a good psychologist with actual wisdom?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

I have a bachelors in psychology so was able to pick based on my understanding of approaches. I knew I didn't want CBT, so went with an ACT psych instead. Mine is also a developmental psychologist so I knew they'd be more likely to understand neurodevelopmental disabilities than your average psychologist.