this post was submitted on 06 Jul 2023
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Autism

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High functioning autistic eight year-old daughter asking for your guys advice. (self.autism)
submitted 1 year ago by RoseyCat to c/autism
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Hello all, my daughter is eight years old. She is high functioning autistic. One trouble she has is she will either misunderstand social situation’s or become easily triggered. When these things happen her mind becomes disorganized and she will have meltdowns. She will not be able to gather her thoughts and ends up yelling at the other person (usually her older brother) but not in a way that is not productive to solving the problem..

I have talked to her about calm down techniques, but she is asking if there is ways that people with autism specifically handle these things. I know how I handle them, but I am coming from neurotypical perspective and even though I have done a lot of reading on this topic I feel it would be a good idea to reach out to the community to see if you all have any advice for her.

So what do you all do in a high stress situation where your brain just wants to yell? What helps sooth and calm, sooth, and organize thoughts?

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm a mess with family. For work however I inhale through the mouth to fill my lungs, then another sharp intake through the nose, followed by a slow exhale through the mouth like cooling cocoa. The exhale should be long. Repeat 1-3 times until I am calm enough to excuse myself. I practiced this in non-crisis situations so it's second nature and so I can do it subtly, but it does work "out loud" with a finger held up to hold off questions). Once is usually enough. But being able to say "I'm sorry, I have to step away" or "be right back" in a calm voice, rather than that shaky-voice is clutch.

Then I do something from TIPP (reference below). I recommend having a few ready at hand for various situations. At work, I'll go run up the stairs ( Intense exercise, ideally this would be longer, but even just a minute or two helps). That or paced breathing, sounds like you already have some of those exercises queued up. Holding an ice cube is a popular one.

(not endorsing anything on this site, just for the TIPP explanation, because I'm bad with acronyms. https://footprintscommunity.org.au/resources/introduction-to-dialectal-behavioural-therapy-the-tipp-skill/

[–] RoseyCat 1 points 1 year ago

Thank you, we’ll try TIPP.