Asklemmy

45180 readers

1165 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

Open-ended question
Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

Lemmyverse: community search
sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
[email protected]: a community for finding communities

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~

founded 5 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

-3

How do I [32M] have a "slut phase"? (lemmynsfw.com)

submitted 2 years ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

NSFW 19 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Hear me out. First, I know sex isn't everything and I know that hooking up and getting laid isn't going to solve deeper needs and insecurities that I am working on.

That said, I'm also getting out of a long and bad relationship that has left me feeling like I missed so many experiences and opportunities in what ultimately were the final years of my 20s.

I never really properly figured out dating or hooking up. Even though it's not literally true, I feel like the only person I've been with is someone where we skipped straight to "serious long term relationship" which not only contributed to why we didn't work out, but also kind of stunted my development when it comes to romance and sex.

So now I'm trying to take a step back and just kind of loosen up and have fun in a way I feel I never have before. I do want to develop real connections and long term relationships, but I also want a bit of time away from that first.

Only problem is, I have no clue how and I do feel just a bit old for it. I'm on Tinder and frankly it just feels like nobody is interested.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] MigratingtoLemmy 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Which is why most men do not have a "slut phase"

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

That really makes no sense. If you're a 5 there are statistically way more people "in your league" than if you're a 10.

[–] MigratingtoLemmy 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Indeed. But there's no guarantee that people who are fives are looking for similar people who are relative fives on a scale of appearance.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It is just really not the case that only the most attractive people have sex. The majority of sex - casual and otherwise - is had between people who are average looking.

[–] MigratingtoLemmy 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Of course average people have sex. My point was that above-average people have a lot more sex

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

Half of all people are above average. I just don't think this is the death sentence people on the Internet say it is.

[–] MigratingtoLemmy 1 points 2 years ago

I wish you the best in your search. I'm not good looking so I might be overly pessimistic in my thinking. Good luck!