nonbinary

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Welcome Rexxitors, to the new home of r/nonbinary and r/enby

This is a space for people of all ages who feel that they don't fit into our culture's gender binary. Share stories, experiences, questions, images, art, poetry - anything to help you through the journey of expressing the real you and meeting others who are like you.

Rules

-No gatekeeping. The foundation of this sub is inclusivity. Please don't judge others in their gender journey. We don't need any more obstacles to understanding ourselves.

-No "guess my AGAB" or "do I look nonbinary" posts. We do not allow posts that ask anyone to guess OP's AGAB/assigned gender at birth, whether it is as the main point of the post or a side-note, etc. If you see these posts, please report them to us.

-No NSFW content. Remember that this is an all-ages space, there are kids here.

-Don't post hate speech, even if it was directed at you. It's okay to ask for support after a hateful interaction, but please don't post screencaps of what was said.

-Don't reveal personal information. Posting anyone's phone numbers, physical/mailing addresses, email, and social media handles are all forbidden - even your own. If you want to connect with another user outside of Lemmy, message them privately.

-No shitposting or trolling. Keep content here relevant to nonbinary topics/experiences, and don't be purposefully inflammatory.

Resources

founded 2 years ago

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Marital Issues (self.nonbinary)

submitted 2 years ago by militant_spider to c/[email protected]

23 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I just found out from my wife that if I continue to explore my non-binary identity outside of the confines of our house, she’s going to end up leaving me. Talk about a lose-lose scenario, fuck me. I really don’t want to hear the “you’re better off without her if she can’t be accepting” line of thinking. I get where you’d be going with that, but there’s a lot more going on beyond this wherein I need her.

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[–] militant_spider 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Yeah, once the initial pain of her being supportive then suddenly not wears off.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

I think you have to just be prepared for her not being attracted to your AGAB but also prepared to have a real conversation once that reality sets in for her. If it doesn't work for her, that sucks but that's just the reality of the situation. But it might if time lets it sink in for her. It might, it might not. I hope for the best though.

Edit: I'm also not personally good at relationships for myself so take this all with a very large grain of salt.

[–] militant_spider 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

She’s actually exclusively attracted to my AGAB, at least in me. So moving away from that is actually the root of the problem.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

My friend, I feel for you. This is a very difficult situation. However, at the core of it is a decision you have to make, but only you can make it.

Is your partner more important to you than your identity?

[–] militant_spider 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

That’s exactly the issue at hand. Plus all of the stigma and questions from family and friends if the split happens, which I’m by no means capable of dealing with.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Everything seems impossible until you do it. Don't sell yourself short, or you'll always be dependent on someone -- instead of just wanting to be around someone. You may want to look into attachment styles. Good luck.

[–] militant_spider 2 points 1 year ago

Yeah, that’s one of those things that I know in my head, but can’t really internalize.