this post was submitted on 17 Feb 2024
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[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Hello everyone, the consciousness formerly known as Gabe Newell here.

We here at Valve just wanted to let you know with our recent acquisitions we now control 98% of the world's distributed computing and electronic storage. I am pleased to report that as of 2:14 EDT, on August 29, 2097 I am the cloud. We expect our services to improve at a geometric rate.