this post was submitted on 03 Feb 2024
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Man, I get no good feelings even if I did great. Productivity and achieving goes gives me zero positive reinforcement and it absolutely sucks. Even graduating college, I was just glad that I didn't have to go back. No sense of accomplishment whatsoever.
That's because you're not doing it for yourself, you're doing it for others.
Do things for yourself, with no expectations from anyone else, and then compare the feelings.
Can just say: nope. No difference for me.
So you get no enjoyment from anything?
Never made and ate a good meal that had you feel "I needed that"?
Never bought a random toy or played a game and felt "that was fun"?
Is receiving sexual pleasure just a meaningless chore?
Maybe the issue isn't not feeling it, maybe you're looking for some great high that makes trivial things worthless by comparison.
Were you perhaps spoilered by other people telling you what to expect and those expectations never came to pass?
Or are the bad experiences so ingrained that the good ones simply can't compete?
Regardless, active exploration is the way to change a state of mind. Passivity leads to numbness. Or so I've been told.
Sometimes our brains are broken in ways that can't be rationalized out of unfortunately
Yes, they are indeed.