this post was submitted on 01 Jul 2023
7 points (100.0% liked)
Moving to: m/AskMbin!
1325 readers
1 users here now
### We are moving! **Join us in our new journey as we take a new direction towards the future for this community at mbin, find our new community here and read this post to know more about why we are moving. Thank you and we hope to see you there!**
founded 1 year ago
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
I just graduated college, so I'm in my very early twenties.
When I went to the first of my friends' weddings, one or two years ago, they announced the start of the dance, and no-one participated for the first two or three songs. I was kind of disappointed, because I was looking forward to dancing the night away. Luckily, some of my friends from swing dancing night were there and we helped get people comfortable on the floor. At one point we even organized a line dance! But at first, it was like pulling teeth.
The next wedding I went to didn't have a dance at all.
I guess I'm just sad at the perceived loss of culture I never got to experience, which is a negative emotion, correct.
I'm late 30s, and formal dancing like this isn't something I'm into or have any close friends who are into - so this isn't something that's just happened suddenly with your generation. I don't think my parents know how to dance in any formal way either. This isn't some sudden loss of culture.
Most of the Western weddings I've gone to have a 'first dance' (where often the couple may have taken some lessons beforehand and which will therefore be more formal) but then after that the band or DJ will play pop/rock/hip-hop/disco music and everyone else will dance along to that. But that's dancing in the sense of how the vast majority of people (who have never taken lessons) know how to dance - i.e. the informal way we all learnt to dance at school discos or student parties or nightclubs - not the more structured dancing styles you're describing.
It sounds like you're quite into dancing as a hobby, given you mention having friends from swing dancing nights - but most people aren't, it's a bit of a niche. So you're disappointed that your hobby isn't more mainstream, but I wouldn't go blaming that on your fellow wedding guests. I'm quite into Star Trek, but when I go to weddings I don't grumble that the bride didn't walk down the aisle to the TNG theme.
My advice would be to accept that your hobby isn't something that most people are in to and not to judge other people for that. Instead seek out clubs and societies for people who do share you interest, where you can ballroom dance the night away together.
People just don't do Beatzoid weddings anymore :(
The swing dancing at Betazoid weddings is something to behold.
Don't worry, there's no blame or judgment or anger. There is simply a misalignment of expectations, and I am trying to derive the source of that discontinuity.
I highly doubt were about to have a sad ending to Footloose take over everywhere. People probably dance more when they are happy or maybe when things are really bad as a way to cope. Things haven't really been great for a giant portion of the population. Inflation, food/gas prices going up, interest rates etc. If things improve people will be happy and go dance. In the meantime I think people are pretty stressed and drained from day to day life. End of the day I just think you may have confirmation bias mixed with maybe a narrower world view on why people might not want to dance like you expect as well as many people feel completely opposite to you personally. To each their own.
Yeah because tbh if I went anywhere and someone went "let's have a line dance!" I take that as my cue to leave. I think there just may be less people into swing and line dancing then op wants to admit. I mean go to a club or the right type of bar and you can find dancing no problem, even line.
Though every wedding I have been to there was at least some dancing, though I would guess it depends on the size and the people, if they don't wanna dance they don't gotta dance. Not to mention that in most weddings I have been to the music is more intended for couples dancing, which makes dancing even more awkward if you don't have said couple to dance with, excluding a portion of people I would assume.
I agree with you. Also an observation (not positive or negative in any way) a lot of the younger people I see under 20 persay are seemingly very quiet and reserved, that might be just a social thing and they are much more outgoing in other situations. I've heard that drinking alcohol is also much lower, so if you have quite a few people that don't feel comfortable dancing, are more used to being social online, and drink less then I would assume that dancing might be a little more rare. I think op might just have been in a bit of a bubble growing up where culturally it's was more open to dancing.