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You're just a kid, how would you know what you want for the rest of your life? (lemmy.world)

submitted 10 months ago by Custoslibera to c/[email protected]

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[–] Fades 0 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

So many fucking children in the comments so very sure they know who they are and are totally not going to change and thus can absolutely marry very young.

A lot of them no doubt in for a rude awakening, brain still developing and so many life changing experiences ahead of them…

These days, a consensus of neuroscientists agree that brain development likely persists until at least the mid-20s – possibly until the 30s.

https://mentalhealthdaily.com/2015/02/18/at-what-age-is-the-brain-fully-developed/

I guess you can’t blame them… they don’t know what they don’t know

[–] FriedCheese 3 points 10 months ago

My parents got married when they were 19 and 21. They only knew each other for 3 months prior to getting married even. They're almost 70 now and still happily married.

My husband and I got married when we were both 21. We're almost 30 now and still happily married.

For some, it is possible to know what you want out of your life. For example, I knew since I was 16 years old that I didn't want any children. My husband was a bit younger than me since he knew. We both knew what our general goals were and how to work towards them.

We talked extensively prior to getting married about a lot of things, such as what happens if one of us becomes severely disabled and requires the other to care for us. Our answers aligned really well and on things we didn't align on we were able to come to an agreement that satisfied both of us.

I don't think my case is a common one though. My husband and I have definitely both changed, the difference is that we have changed and grown together. And sometimes it took both of us actively working together to solve any issues.

It is a lot easier to simply wait and skip this process but we were ready to commit.

[–] Dr_Fetus_Jackson 1 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

I'm not disputing the mental and emotional development that occurs throughout your twenties, though I will say things can, and do work out for some. My wife and I married at 21 and 22 almost 30 years ago and we've been together for 36. We're still the best friends we were in highschool and are inseparable.

The trick, for us at least, has always been to not getting into a mindset that didn't allow for us to change and grow while also working to live up to what the other thinks we are.

I'd like to say that we have always been true souls that were focused on each other. Then again, maybe we were just lucky children.