this post was submitted on 08 Jan 2024
28 points (81.8% liked)
Asklemmy
43776 readers
936 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
Search asklemmy ๐
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- [email protected]: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
I think you are making a blanket statement about uniform systems and attributing all the bad things from a few to all of them. Uniform systems come in many varieties including gendered/ungendered, seasonal, school supplied/outsourced/local distributors, half uniforms (assigned shirt with unassigned but color coded pants), optional outerwear, regulations on haircut/makeup/accessories, and more.
Bullying absolutely happens to people who are not as well dressed, particularly people who have to wear the same days several days in a row in the absence of a uniform code. It may not have happened to you, but that doesn't mean it hasn't for others. I would know because I spent a good 5 years living on just two suitcases drifting from home to home, and my limited and undersized wardrobe was often a point of ridicule.
Saying "there will always be something to bully" as a counterpoint to how bullies will always find something to bully is pretty dismissive to how much it hurts to be bullied for one's appearances. If you think that what you wear makes no difference to bullies, try wearing a clownsuit to school everyday. It's like you're saying "bullies will bully you anyway, so why not give them one more thing to bully you about?"
I get that being bullied for your clothes may not look a big deal to you because you're a grown adult. But that's not how many teenage minds work. Small things like that can be detrimental to their self esteem.
I already touched on this and said that the best ones are the ones that give you the most freedoms. The very most freedom is had without any uniforms at all.
How did this look when you moved somewhere with uniforms? You probably had to buy new uniforms and you would be able to give them away when you moved away again. That money could have been put towards buying something newer and nicer for yourself instead.
The problem is that one's appearance isn't just the clothes you wear. How much does it hurt to get bullied for facial features, hair, skin colour, accent, pimples, issues possibly related to a disability? Bullies can also just pick any part of your body and make fun of that because most people dont have a perfect body. Everyone has something that is not perfectly adherring to body standards.
I just don't see any reason to believe that uniforms would make it more "difficult" to bully in any way. Bullies don't blanket bully everyone who wears X or does Y. They are predatory and choose specific type of person to bully and then just fling everything at them and see to what that person reacts.
I totally understand that. But the only time I, personally, ever saw someone get bullied for their clothes was when that person was wearing uniform that was in clearly poor condition because that kid had it really rough at home. On the other hand, I've noticed people attempting to bully me for traits of my personality. They weren't satisfied with my reaction so they went on to bully someone else instead but the point still stands. Could school uniform have protected me from that? Does school uniform make me less nerdy?
I'm sorry you had to go through all of that growing up and I hope you're over it now. I just feel like you're giving school uniform too much credit.
I'm giving school uniforms the appropriate amount of credit based on my own experiences with it. Like I said, not every school I went to required one, so I didn't have to change uniforms every time. For the schools that did, I often bought mine discounted or second hand, and still I've yet to be bullied about my clothing compared to when I only had my dilapidated wardrobe that made me stick out like a sore thumb in schools without uniforms.
You say you 'totally understand' in one breath, and then tell me in another how you've only seen it once which means that uniforms cleaely don't matter. Have you ever been a school that wears uniforms before? I feel that we live in two different worlds here and I'm not so sure that you see the big picture.
I've been the new student more times than I've wanted to, and there were a myriad of things to be bullied about each time. I've been consistently bullied less often in schools that have a uniform, regardless of the topic. This is particularly true among American schools, which often did not have a uniform. The one that did (a public charter school), had far fewer bullies. You could argue that this is correlation and not causation, but that's hard to believe when I've been repeated bullied for my clothing. The only additional 'individuality' I've seen in these people is the unearned confidence to say what ever they'd like about other people with no qualms about their feelings.
For the vast majority of the world, uniforms are the norm and even mandatory in many countries. Ironically, most school systems allowed me to choose my own backpack and only US public schools require specifically transparent backpacks due to mass shootings. It's just wild the things this country would sacrifice in the name of individual freedom.
Uniforms aren't the infringement on individuality people think they are. If it were true, most people in the world would have no individuality because they have uniforms. There is a reason why schools, hospitals, soldiers, and prisons have uniforms and it's not just to look good, it's to legitimize an institution and instill discipline. Schools with poor discipline is where rampant behaviorial issues develop. When schools are already understaffed and underfunded, the lack of a uniform makes it even harder to keep students in line. When students wear uniforms, their individuality stops being just about how they look and starts being about how they want to be perceived by others through their actions.
I've been to both school with and without uniforms. As I said, I only witnessed bullying based on clothing in the schools with uniforms.
I still don't understand why money put towards uniform could not have been put towards better leisure clothing.
I neither believe that school uniforms create more bullies, nor do I believe that all schools with uniforms are bad. I think that uniforms are a huge waste of time and money that makes many children miserable - of course some will also like it, as you have made quite clear.
Whether uniforms are normal or not really depends on the local culture so there could be any number of things at play of why there was less bullying or why you may have felt more comfortable in general. Attributing everything to uniforms sounds reductive.
The vast majority of countries also still use corporal punishment. I don't value their opinions on education.
Do doctors and nurses need to be taught discipline? Prisons use the lack of individuality as part of a punishment. Wearing something stupid is supposed to make you unhappy. For military this is true though but these are adults who know what they are getting themselves into. These aren't angsty teenagers trying to find out who they are and instead being forced to wear things they hate.
In the school where I had to wear a uniform there were quite a lot of children from socioeconomically disadvantaged homes. There were quite a lot of kids who acted out and made life difficult for teachers and other students. There was far less of this in the schools without uniforms. It's a socioeconomic thing. Uniforms don't change that.
Like I said, this was something I've observed across public schools without and without uniforms, and they were of similar socioeconomic backgrounds.
I think we are going in circles here. You seem to be adamant in your stance of "I didn't see the bullying and therefore it wasn't a problem". I can't convince you that a problem exists if this stance overrides any evidence presented to you.
The best I can do is make my point and hope that someone else can empathize with it. Have a nice day.