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What a piece of advice that you've held onto over the years? (self.dadvice)

submitted 11 months ago by BallShapedMan to c/dadvice

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For me it's if it won't matter in 5 years it doesn't matter now. Kept me from being a tyrant over things like leaving lights on and what not.

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[–] ook_the_librarian 8 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Replace "because I said so" with "I'll explain after you do it". You can't forget to explain though.

[–] waz 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I remember something similar when I was younger. I don't remember the exact situation, but one day some other adult told me to do something and the reason given was "because I said so". When my mom learned this she told me "because I said so isn't a reason. If someone is asking you to do something, but they can't explain why, you don't have to do it.".

I like your variation. There isn't always time to explain in every situation and always explaining afterwards is a good way to develop trust that you do in fact have a reason.

[–] ook_the_librarian 2 points 10 months ago

I'll add another side-effect of always making sure you follow up with the promised explanation.

99% of the time, they don't really want to know "why?", they want to stall. Now they have to sit though an explanation. You can make it as short or long as you want. I.e., there is a cost to asking "why?". Not sure if that's the greatest lesson, ymmv.