this post was submitted on 17 Dec 2023
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As a man, I always suspected there's some secret to women's restrooms, and I feel like I finally found out.
Men mostly studiously pretend the others don't exist. I am kind of envious.
To be fair, it's not normally like that in most places and situations! Most of the time we just do our business and carry on (unless you're hanging out with a friend group who all had to pee at once). But something magical happens when a bunch of girls are drunk in a bathroom, I don't know how to explain it lol.
Maybe because we're all more aware of each other's comfort levels, being in a potentially dangerous situation (drunk in public around a bunch of strangers) unless we all look out for each other? I'm not really sure. It is pretty nice, whatever it is.
I think part of it is that the bathroom feels inherently a bit of a refuge. Like if you've snogged someone and you're not sure how your lipstick's holding up? Bathroom. If the waistband of your tights started rolling down during dancing, then off to the bathroom. Even if I'm just going in for a pee, there's a sense of relief when I enter a nightclub bathroom, not least of all because it's usually quieter.
Sometimes I might go to the bathroom just for the quiet and some cool water on my wrists, and usually there'll be people hanging out there, either waiting for friends, or reapplying make-up. I think it's a self reinforcing cycle, where because the women's bathroom is a social space in itself, then that makes it an acceptable place to just hang out for a breather, making conversation with random people there. With men's toilets however, there's no-one to strike up a conversation with really, because it's a quick, in and out procedure, and thus it would probably be seen as weird to be hanging out there