The Monkey's Paw

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Want to make a wish? Just ask the Monkey’s Paw! No strings attached.*

Just create a post that starts with “I wish ___”. Other users will then grant you the wish, and probably not how you intended.

^(*)^ ^Strings^ ^definitely^ ^attached.^ ^Satisfaction^ ^not^ ^guaranteed.^ ^Wish^ ^will^ ^likely^ ^backfire.^

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I wish I succeeded right away at everything I attempt (sopuli.xyz)

submitted 10 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Granted. Your life is immediately sucked dry of everything that makes it worthwhile. Think about going for a drive? Oh, it's over. Make love to your spouse? The moment the thought enters your mind and the executive function decides yes lets go, the task is done. You can scarcely remember deriving even an infinitesimal amount of pleasure from the things that once made you happy. You can't even hug your family, because it's done before it even begins, the task complete.

At your first thought of even beginning to consider self harm, you are instantly obliterated in a violent explosion of guts and gore.