this post was submitted on 14 Dec 2023
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My better ones are too legally dubious to post, but I do have one about fairly mundane office drama.
A coworker once dropped some particularly angry comments about a manager in the work chat instead of our private one. I panic post some inane shit to try and hide it before hurriedly tabbing over to the private chat to tell her to delete it. Too late. Along with a very clearly 'upset but trying to be professional' reply, there are some ominous words spoken about how this proves the existence of our private chat and action will be taken if this is the kind of thing being said in it. But it's clock out time for our manager and on a Friday so it gets shelved until Monday with no action taken.
Our private chat wasn't exactly secure so there was fair chance our bosses would access to it. I spend the rest of my work hours that day scrubbing it of the most damaging things I had said while trying to leave enough unflattering stuff that it looked somewhat natural. It wasn't particularly spicy all told, it was mostly just "how to do x?" without sounding incompetent in front of people who dictate whether you get paid or not, but better safe than sorry. We're still sure that our coworker who dropped the bomb is going to get shit canned though.
Monday comes around and we're all waiting for the hammer to come down. Each moment that goes by we expect the retribution is going to be worse. Around midday I realize we've got a different manager than usual overseeing us, but the usual is still clocked in. I spot a bunch of higher ups have away messages saying they're in a meeting and have been for hours. Then in our work chat comes a "x is typing" from one of them, who very rarely says anything there. I message one of my coworkers putting my bet that this was it and to brace for punishment.
The typing message from this person goes on for a good 20 minutes. It's going to be a big one.
The message finally comes. Our coworker was fired.
...and so was everyone else except myself and one other person. They were getting laid off. The meeting I noticed wasn't about our punishment, it was an emergency meeting because an important contract hadn't gone through. Company got gutted.
HOLY SHIT