this post was submitted on 14 Dec 2023
63 points (100.0% liked)

Autism

6868 readers
9 users here now

A community for respectful discussion and memes related to autism acceptance. All neurotypes are welcome.

We have created our own instance! Visit Autism Place the following community for more info.

Community:

Values

  • Acceptance
  • Openness
  • Understanding
  • Equality
  • Reciprocity
  • Mutuality
  • Love

Rules

  1. No abusive, derogatory, or offensive post/comments e.g: racism, sexism, religious hatred, homophobia, gatekeeping, trolling.
  2. Posts must be related to autism, off-topic discussions happen in the matrix chat.
  3. Your posts must include a text body. It doesn't have to be long, it just needs to be descriptive.
  4. Do not request donations.
  5. Be respectful in discussions.
  6. Do not post misinformation.
  7. Mark NSFW content accordingly.
  8. Do not promote Autism Speaks.
  9. General Lemmy World rules.

Encouraged

  1. Open acceptance of all autism levels as a respectable neurotype.
  2. Funny memes.
  3. Respectful venting.
  4. Describe posts of pictures/memes using text in the body for our visually impaired users.
  5. Welcoming and accepting attitudes.
  6. Questions regarding autism.
  7. Questions on confusing situations.
  8. Seeking and sharing support.
  9. Engagement in our community's values.
  10. Expressing a difference of opinion without directly insulting another user.
  11. Please report questionable posts and let the mods deal with it. Chat Room
  • We have a chat room! Want to engage in dialogue? Come join us at the community's Matrix Chat.

.

Helpful Resources

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
BackOnMyBS
63
What is bothering you right now? (self.autism)
submitted 11 months ago by BackOnMyBS to c/autism
48 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

We’re autistic, and one of the characteristics of being autistic is that we feel things deeply. On the positive side, when we are happy, we feel immense joy compared to others. On the negative side, we feel painful emotions more strongly than others as well. Because of this, many of us have been invalidated, insulted, or pushed away when all we were wanting was to share what we were going through and get support. Maybe even a really tight hug and someone telling us that it makes sense that we feel that way.

While we can’t give hugs, we can help each other by sharing our pain and having others help us through it. So here is that post. What’s bothering you? Why? Tell us.

Note 1: Sort by New to see the most recent posts.

Note 2: This post in particular will be especially moderated in terms of trolling, abusive, derogatory, offensive, disrespectful, invalidating, accusatory, or antagonizing responses to a user's pain. If your response is removed by mods, but you think you make a valid point, try rephrasing it in a compassionate manner that is not dismissing or accusatory.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)
  1. I'm nearly thirty and haven't been in a relationship yet. I spend basically all my time indoors talking to the same few people and posting angry rants on social media. I'm now not in anywhere near a good enough mental state to go out and talk to people.

I feel this. I'm 28 years old and haven't even held hands with a woman. It sucks and takes a huge toll on your psyche, because everywhere you look in the world there are people happy in relationships and it just makes you feel worthless when you've gone so long in your life without experiencing that.

That being said, a bunch of stuff happened to me in the past couple months and right now I'm feeling tantalizingly close to actually having a relationship with a woman. I don't want to jinx it, but I went on a very promising first date last week (the second first date I've been on in my life), and have the second date with the same woman tomorrow night. And between then and now she has been texting me a bunch and I get the impression that she is interested in pursuing something serious with me.

Not trying to flex or anything, just wanted to let you know that things can change quickly. If someone told me in September that I'd be in the situation I'm in now, I would have probably gotten mad at them for lying to me in such a patronizing way. Life is weird like that.

If you have any questions or want any advice, I can maybe provide. I think I've really had my eyes opened in the last couple of months to the tools needed to climb out of that hole, though I don't know your situation.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I mentioned this elsewhere, but one thing that really made me more optimistic is seeing a lot of people here casually mention having partners, or even NT folks posting asking for advice for their autistic partners. For me though, firstly I think I should focus on getting my mental state in a good enough place that I can socialise properly and not be anxious all the time.

Congrats on finding someone though, I hope it works out.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

Thanks, me too.

If you want my unsolicited 2 cents on improving your mental state, I highly recommend the book "The Six Pillars of Self-esteem" by Nathaniel Branden. It's a big part of what made such a big change for me and was recommended to me by my therapist specifically because she's found it helps a lot of ND people she works with.