weirdway

You have infinite power. Right in this moment, that's a fact. You only believe you have a relatively limited amount of power, and therefore rarely, or never, wholeheartedly exert most of the power that you have. Some of these currently inaccessible powers are more readily grasped than others, and some are of more practical use than others. One which is both fairly accessible and extraordinarily practical is your power to influence your preferences.

You are often under the impression that your preferences are very external to you. Sit on that for a while and really contemplate how -odd- it is that you generally think of your preferences as things which are not directly under your control. We should be grateful that we live in a society with a sense of an "inner world of thought and feeling" at all, because it means that the features of this inner world are far more readily pliable than the outer world. Just so, we don't always, 100% of the time feel that our preferences are very external to us in the same way that we do 100% always feel that a tree is external to us.

Sometimes we can "learn to like" something. It can "grow on us". Woah! Hey, what kind of thing is that? If it seems 100% impossible to learn to turn a tree purple, why does it not seem 100% impossible to begin to like, say, listening to a music album which you hated the first time you heard it? Remember, you have infinite power. That's over the conventional "outer" world and "inner" world alike. But one of those seems much more pliable than the other. Our ability to influence our inner world at will is not something most of us are entirely unfamiliar with. But how often, if ever, do we try to push this further?

Importantly, I'm not talking about intellectualizing, metaphysics, conceptualization, rationality, reasoning, or any of those faculties. I'm not talking about our capacity to -know- right now, I'm talking about our capacities of -experience- and -will-. I'm talking about influencing internal experiences. I'm talking about deciding that you like something that you instinctively dislike, deciding that you will be happy instead of being sad, deciding that you won't feel pain as suffering, etc. I'm talking about pushing the boundaries of what -you- can decide about your internal world.

1. Contemplate for a while on the malleability of the internal world. Consider things about your feelings (perceptual, emotional, and more subtle types) which have changed either by your effort or incidentally. Consider how you've stopped liking things you used to like and started liking things you didn't used to like. Think about times you were in a shitty mood and it got much better, or vice-versa. Think about, in particular, times when you feel like you were genuinely, actively, consciously willing the change.

2. Analyze yourself. What are you feeling right now? How do you feel about the things that have happened yesterday, today, and tomorrow? How do you feel about your body's position right now? How comfortable are you? Are you enjoying this lifetime? Are you happy to be experiencing yourself as a human on this planet for now? How -are- you?

3. The ones that come up the most negative or undesirable, remind yourself of your ability to change your "internal" world. Remind yourself of the things you contemplated in the first step.

4. Exercise your will. This is a part when you might come up against some pesky hurdles: namely Doubt, equipped with thoughts like, "You can't just change whatever you want," and, "This is bullshit, you don't REALLY feel that way," and, "You just don't have the power to do something like that yet," and, "If you can just change shit whenever you want, won't you go insane? You're not ready for that!" and, "This whole thing is bullshit. You understand this intellectually but you don't feel it." You'll have to stand up against those obstacles yourself and you'll have to handle them. They're subtle and slippery, but you can call them out.

I advise you to do this and to do this regularly. Happiness is underrated in spirituality, IMO. Happiness fuels courage and courage is necessary in this practice. Believe me, a happy and courageous and excited and energized heart will be a backbone to everything you do. -Feeling- that way will be the shoulders on which all of your intellectualizing, your metaphysics, your contemplation, and your meditation will stand. And as long as you remain dissuaded, dissatisfied, and disliking existing in the world you do, wisdom will be forever just out of your reach, like a massive tower built on quicksand that will keep tugging it downward. (There's an argument to be made -for- disliking the current world, but doing so tactically and intentionally, not falling into it miserably and inadvertently).

Happiness, energy, focus, motivation, and fearlessness don't just fall in your lap. If you think they're going to, go outside and wait for the trees to turn purple. If you want to change the type of experience you're having, you have to use your will. And utilizing your will on things-called-"internal" is, frankly, -easy- compared to utilizing it on called-"external". There's a reason, IMO, why of all the people who've been called "enlightened" seemed to be extremely at peace while only a few of them seemed to have "supernatural" powers. Before you go trying to break the fourth wall and go full-lucid on the waking world, try intending your feelings. It'll strengthen your entire practice.

P.S. As a protip, I've found that anything for which we'd conventionally use the word "taste" is easy to experiment with. "Taste in music", "taste in art", sensory taste of food, etc. Eat something that you don't enjoy and see if you can't find out that it's utterly delicious. :)