768
Be yourself and be true to who you are. Don't let neurotypical conditioning define your identity.
(lemmy.world)
this post was submitted on 29 Nov 2023
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Autism
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I can understand and agree with everything you said, to varying degrees, especially as I see the bigger world-view of it... up until
I know you're not saying every person who takes drugs does so because they were coerced, or because they are trying to be 'normal', but it is how I first read it... and it is how many of those with similar views to yours feel. Which kind ties back to a comment I made elsewhere in this post a couple of days ago, that the "ND people are just different" ideology frequently comes bundled with a negative view of those of us who do want to take drugs and do things to be more functional.
You may think the world needs to change, but without my meds I can sit here feeling like a lazy asshole for not helping my wife clean, while still feeling utterly unable to will myself to get up and help. I'm not always that way without medication, but with medication, I spent this morning having interesting conversations on Lemmy, taking periodic breaks to clean up the apartment bit by bit before my wife even wakes up. And I feel good, I'm doing some of the same old shit I usually do, though maybe a bit more verbose and not being quite as rude or as presumptuous as I'd normally be. Without my meds, this conversation probably would have ended long ago. But, instead I feel like I'm having a interesting and slightly productive convo while getting some productivity in around the house.
Now you may say you don't fault me for wanting meds, but maybe that is still your initial prejudice against med users, and even if not... I'm highly confident that it is the case for many who espouse these ideas.
Even if you convinced me to your side, and I stopped taking my meds, well... I'd probably never do a single thing to advance the ideology... Because my meds allow me the persistence to keep focused on a task. Otherwise, its Lemmy -> Torrenting -> Researching that phone issue I'm having -> ~~Cleaning~~ (probably not actually) -> reorganizing my desk, half way at best -> thinking about applying for jobs, but just feeling overwhelmed and inept, and not actually applying to anything -> settling into watch tv while I pull up lemmy, and show review sites, torrents, researching a new phone... and that'd be my whole day. Literally.
Maybe I just lack the imagination, or hope to even attempt to imagine a world in which the above is perfectly fine and 5% of the population can just do that all day. Maybe if it was more socially acceptable for that to be the entire itinerary for my day, then I wouldn't feel so bad about it. But I think I really do want to get a job where I can put my knowledge to use, to be able to contribute equitably to house work and household earnings, and work on longer term personal projects. Despite some clear evidence that I can code quite well, have quite an aptitude for it, I've never worked on a personal project that took longer than 12 hours.
If thats longer than my other comments, its because I switched to my laptop where I am able to stream-of-consciousness much more effectively.
See I have a rather different experience because I have never had meds. I still managed to get a master degree and apply for jobs. The issue I have in my life is that despite applying for many jobs (okay probably less than a more motivated person) I still don't get anything. Why? I don't know. I doubt it's something I have done given I don't even get replies to most of them, so it's not like I have interview problems. In this case it's unrealistic expectations put upon graduates looking for jobs especially with regards to experience. How can you have 1+years of industry experience when you have only just graduated and no one is willing to take a chance? I think others get around this by applying very early while still in University. You could argue that my neurodivergence prevented me from applying while busy doing my dissertation, but I don't think every NT person could have done that either. The bigger issue is that this barrier exists in the first place when it something everone has to clear. Sorry for the rant, it's been a very frustrating time.
I can relate to the understanding of feeling broken and I am glad you have something that helps at least a little bit. The issue is I don't think medication alone is the anwser, if it was you would already have a job. I think if a society wants you to be productive it needs to organize itself and give you work suitable for you're talents rather than expecting people to find work that may not even be avalible. I think labour needs to be more organised to better take advantage of the skills of different people.
I generally think that the same medications that allow ADHD people to be more productive also helps NT people be more productive. That's why college students and the army use these medications. It's the same effect just in a different context. I am aware there are people that stimulants do impact differently, but from my understanding it's more about calming them down rather than giving them energy and executive funtion to get through various tasks. I could be very wrong here as I don't have the experience as I have never been prescibred psychiatric medications. What I know about these things is through similar recreational substances or through listening to others
Edit: also I should point out that some of the things I tried recreationally also ended up improving my productivity and we're later used for that perpose. Kratom in particular comes to mind. You may find it helpful though it has more risks than some people want to acknowledge. In the vain of treating symptoms MDMA has been tested for treating social anxiety in autistic people and I think it may have heled me understand other people a bit better but it's kind of hard to tell because lots of things were changing for me in that time of my life.
I’m new to the meds, as still tuning my regiment, but as is I do have an interview to look forward to. Which is way ahead of where I was a couple of months ago.
Also, medication do not have the same effect on NT as they do on ND, specifically stimulants and ADHDers. That’s a myth, backed up by research, lots of it. If you enjoy acquiring knowledge through videos, like I do, you may want to check out lectures, or the shorter videos by Dr Russell Barkley, arguably the world’s foremost expert on the topic of ADHD.
How can a myth be backed up by lots of research? I am confused what you mean here.
I am also not claiming that they have the exact same effect on all people. Rather that they do improve productivity in many circumstances for both groups of people (NT and ND). Also neurodivergent people are not a single block and neither are neurotypicals. Not all ADHD or autistic people will respond the same way to stimulants. Not even one the same person is effected the same way by the same drug every single time. One of the lessons taught in the psychonaut community is that drugs can effect you differently depending on many factors including you're mindset, the dosage, the exact substance, and what condition you're body is in (set and setting is the simplified version of this). I have experienced the stimulant inversion you are talking about but it's not very consistent. It's basically tossing a coin what effect I will have for a certain stimulant every time I take it; this is part of why I don't do that particular substance often. It could also be a dosage dependant phenomena.
I have looked at a couple Russell Barkley videos. I haven't found anything on how ADHD people respond differently to stimulants than people of any other neurotype. Could you point me in the right direction?
But on that specific issue of getting experience before graduation, yeah, it’s a dumb situation. It’s giving me trouble getting a CS job, but I’m interviewing for a Sys Admin job bc I’m experienced in that, and this particular employer also likes that I have a CS degree bc they’re a software company.
I was looking for coding, sysadmin, or even cyber security and still didn't get anything. I am now looking more broadly into technician roles and computer repair as I think they might be easier to apply to. I have already cast the net wider than most yet people have told me to look more broadly (as if I didn't already do that lol). I am glad to here from someone I can actually relate to. I am even looking at jobs in the brewing industry as I have a special interest/hyperfixation in that area.
My next plan of action is to network, I’ve started a bit, but especially if this interview doesn’t work out, I’m going to make networking a job itself. Try to make friends with people in the industry, since I actually enjoy it, I imagine I could make friends with people who also enjoy coding and find opportunities that way. I hear referrals make all the difference, because they mostly ensure that you’ll actually get eyes on your application and even if you’re equally qualified as others, the referral gives you the edge.
I’ve also got a couple of existing friends keeping an ear out for openings, though many companies aren’t recruiting much right now.
While that sort of makes sense I think it's bad you have to do that. This is what I mean when I say society is broken, nobody should have to depend on nepotism or networking just to find suitable employment. It's one of my major bug bears with capitalism.