The Monkey's Paw

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Want to make a wish? Just ask the Monkey’s Paw! No strings attached.*

Just create a post that starts with “I wish ___”. Other users will then grant you the wish, and probably not how you intended.

^(*)^ ^Strings^ ^definitely^ ^attached.^ ^Satisfaction^ ^not^ ^guaranteed.^ ^Wish^ ^will^ ^likely^ ^backfire.^

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I wish I succeeded right away at everything I attempt (sopuli.xyz)

submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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[–] voodooattack 10 points 11 months ago

Granted. You succeed at everything you do to the maximum possible extent, but very slowly. You are unable to stop until you fully succeed at what you’re doing.

For example: You have to expel the full contents of your intestines every time you poop. Slowly. Very slowly.