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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/t5unamie7 on 2023-06-26 22:12:19+00:00.
Am I being an ass hole for setting the boundary that I don't want my girlfriend to smoke weed or drink to the point her judgment is impaired while out alone with male friends?
In this situation this has happened. There is a good male friend I have met twice.
She asked for permission to smoke up at her male friends house.
I responded saying it was not okay if she got so intoxicated that her judgment was impaired.
He cooked dinner for her, they smoked weed and she passed out on his sofa.
She explained that he's just a friend, she does not see him in that way.
I said this was not okay that she was so high she fell a sleep alone at his home.
She called me controlling and indicating I am a problem for making her feel bad.
Thanks in advanced
Addition: Seems like a lot of people think I some how make her report into me her activities. So this is the message she sent to me.
"FYI - /name removed/ asked me to bring the leftover herbs over so we be smoking up later. Hope that’s ok"
This was my response.
"You don't need to ask for my permission for that stuff.
You know my line on these types of things. If your so intoxicated like from alcohol to the point you do something like cheat. Then we are over.
Your an adult and you need to draw the line for yourself how far you enjoy life at the risk of being taken advantage of or when you know your judgment is impaired."
Summary
1 - She was asking permission. It was not a conversation. She messaged me to confirm whether I was okay for her to smoke up.
2 - I don't ask her to ask for my permission on this stuff. I try and get her to take responsibility.
3 - pre context is she goes out and has been to parties with female and male friends. We have had the discussion and I set the boundary with her that it's not okay for her to go out and get intoxicated to the point she passes out or has impaired judgment like pissing in the middle of the street.