Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Wooden_Shop_8779 on 2023-06-26 22:32:51+00:00.

My husband works with a girl named "Lucy" who also happens to be part of our social circle. I wouldn't say she's close to us, but she's a close friend of a friend so we'll see her once in a while when there are group outings.

She also works with my husband "John", and I guess because we also see her outside of work, she thinks she's super close to my husband. I'm not a super jealous type, but I drew a line when my husband himself voiced discomfort at Lucy's behavior.

She likes to make jokes about being his "work wife", try and push me out of conversations with my husband (i.e. "you weren't at the office, so you wouldn't understand), and has tried to initiated one-on-one hangouts with my husband.

John has turned her down, and has also explicitly told her that she was making him feel uncomfortable and to stop. She's just laughed and brushed it off, and still continues. He hasn't brought it up to work yet because she's a single mom and he didn't want to get her in trouble. Her advances have mostly been just annoying, but it recently escalated which brings us to the issue.

At a BBQ, my husband was sitting around a fire pit with his friends. I got up to get food, and I came back right as Lucy came and sat down on my husbands lap while "joking", "your work wife can entertain you while your normal wife is busy". This was the first time she made a physical advance, and my husband immediately jumped up and pushed her off.

She laughed and told him to stop being so sensitive, and I could tell it embarrassed my husband. It was at this point that I told her, "Maybe if you had focused more on being a real wife instead of a work wife, you wouldn't be divorced."

Lucy immediately left the party after that, and I found out from our friend that she cried in her car. She's since skipped and avoided all events where I'm there with my husband, which has caused a strain with our mutual friend. Most of our other friends were on my side, but some said I was too harsh and that Lucy was just kidding around.