this post was submitted on 24 Nov 2023
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I'm kind of done with dating, but I don't want to be. Anybody else? (self.askgaybrosover30)
submitted 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) by Lemminary to c/askgaybrosover30
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I've been dating since I was 16 and the longest relationship I ever had was a year where I felt relatively comfortable. Nowadays I feel like I have to sleep with an eye open, so to speak, because my trust in others is gone. Too many heartbreaks, too much cheating, manipulation, dirty lies, and disappointments. Just all-around shittiness for nothing to show.

And despite all that, I'm still hopping on dating apps and meeting people on outings to find that someone. I want to believe that I can find someone compatible who I can trust. But even if I put my biases aside it still feels like a lost cause.

Does anybody have a similar experience? Has anyone gotten over this? I need some hope or advice, guys.

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[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

May I ask how old you are now? I can definitely relate to your feelings, it does get exhausting. The biggest tip I can give is to take breaks for a few weeks where you don't go on dates and then start again.

[โ€“] Lemminary 2 points 11 months ago

I'm in my mid thirties. But the feeling isn't recent, it has been developing over the years now. I've gone so much time without dating, sometimes a few months, sometimes a whole year now for the same reasons.

I can only think of a single time where the wasn't some bullshit going on. So much so that I'm now hesitant and half-expecting it. I mean, some shady shit happened again last week with someone I had just met. Within an hour of knowing me they were already showing signs of manipulation and caught them red-handed on a lie, it gave me the creeps.