Am I the Asshole?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Jumpy-Connection-302 on 2023-06-26 14:12:37+00:00.

I (30f) and my husband (29m) have had issues adjusting our sleep schedules for the last year and a half (despite dating for 6 and married for 2), at it has gotten especially worse now that he has been unemployed for ~3 months.

He has been coming to bed at 1-2 am, while I have to wake up at 5 am, this wouldn't have been an issue if I wasn't a light sleeper and if this constant sleep deprivation didn't impact all aspects of my daily life (working is harder, projects take longer, I sleep more after work so I have no time for my hobbies because I'm tired, overall I am generally miserable). I have spoken to him about this for almost a year now, everytime he does it I ask him if he knows the time, and without fail he apologizes and hugs me (admittedly I am very, very grumpy when Ilmy sleep is disturbed without reason.)

Last night everything came to a head, he came in at ~1am and I told him "I am not trying to control when he sleeps, I am just asking for basic respect. How would you feel if I started waking you up at ungodly hours in the morning before you have to go to work? If you're not going to come to bed at a reasonable time, then go sleep in our guest bedroom and stop disturbing my sleep."

This morning I had the thought of putting a lock on our bedroom door and locking it at night when I go to bed. It really might just be my sleep deprivation making me very irritated, but I am frustrated to say the least when he just completely disregards me and I always have to be the one catering to him and it's gotten more frustrating now that he is unemployed and majority of the day he is just playing video games well into those ungodly times, and then disturb my rest because f me only he matters.

Edit: For those wondering why I don't sleep in the guest bedroom I would, but I need the master bed and platform as it is adjustable and was purchased for my spinal problems and GERD and were purchased by me pre-marriage.