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Asking Someone to Go Dutch? (lemmy.dbzer0.com)

submitted 8 months ago by [email protected] to c/dating

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Hey! 😋

So I'm super awkward, and anxious! (ADHD Autisic) And I'm really hoping I could get some help finding a casual way to ask someone out to a concert or dinner without creating the assumption that I'm paying for both tickets/meals.

Any ideas other then just bluntly asking to go Dutch?

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[–] PlanetOfOrd 1 points 7 months ago (1 children)

This type of conversation can actually bring up cultural differences between ask/guest culture.

Ask culture is more straightforward--both parties say what they want. "Hey, I prefer going Dutch. What about you?" "No, I prefer if you pay for it." / "Yeah, totally fine." etc.

Guest culture is more like you gotta mind read.

As an ADHDer (and possibly autistic) I'm an asker in a guest culture myself. I used to get so stressed out about appearing rude. Now I'm like, "If a person finds me rude for asking something like that they're not worth being in a relationship with anyway."

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Ah shit, that's a good point! Thank you!