this post was submitted on 14 Nov 2023
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The Monkey's Paw
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Want to make a wish? Just ask the Monkey’s Paw! No strings attached.*
Just create a post that starts with “I wish ___”. Other users will then grant you the wish, and probably not how you intended.
^(*)^ ^Strings^ ^definitely^ ^attached.^ ^Satisfaction^ ^not^ ^guaranteed.^ ^Wish^ ^will^ ^likely^ ^backfire.^
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With your wish supposedly granted, a dazzling array of lights fills your view as you are transported through time and space to an otherworldly jungle.
Before you is a 3-eyed primate, whom you gather is the very same wish-granter in their original form, holding their hand up in the air expecting your reaction.
Moments pass. The smile fades from the chimp's face as they are left hanging while your reality-lagged brain tries to process your surroundings. You swing your arm but...
You were too slow. As your hand fails to connect to another... your body falls forward onto the ground, already dead from the sheer disappointment (or perhaps a severe high-five deficiency).