this post was submitted on 29 Oct 2023
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No, the "negativity and positivity" folks are the kind I don't wanna even to argue with. No, thanks.
One my friend, 7 years older than me, still depends on his parents to pay his rent. He talks like you about "negativity" and "positivity", a lot. It would seem that attracting people is one of the few things he can do. He is my friend regardless of faults and mistakes, but if I were like you, he probably wouldn't be.
Another my friend blabbers about "negativity and positivity" too, but sometimes posts really long walls of hardly-comprehensible maniacal texts at 2 AM involving lots of emotions. She doesn't want to visit a psychiatrist. On a brighter side, she's the only person which talks to me after the rejection just as well as before, and the rejection itself she managed to do right - simply by being human.
This is not a reason. I have a friend with the same amount of "negativity" as myself, that friend is a girl too, though. Helped me through hard times. She does have same problems as I do, but for girls it's different.
And my sister's boyfriend is of the "multiple suicide attempts" kind and his relative cheerfulness doesn't quite seem cheerful.
And my cousins' dad has PTSD from war, he's a very cheerful man often, but he doesn't treat "negativity" as something justifying what you justify.
Other than that, you having a cold or a food poisoning is also unattractive. Same with depression. These things come and go.
It's cowardly and disgusting to discard people for this reason. I wouldn't do that, I'm just surprised every time that for others it's normal.
Also if you do that, then at least be direct and don't behave as if it's another's fault, because that another is going to waste lots of effort and emotion to find out that they've done nothing wrong, it's just that your parents have failed.
EDIT: Yep, didn't want to argue that and wrote a rant.
If people feel bad being around you, they're not going to want to be around you. Simple as that. It's not even a conscious decision, it's a subconscious mechanism of being part of a social species. It's not just plain negativity, but moreso festering bitterness. Your comments exude it. And it matches what you said, people don't "discard" you immediately, but once you get to know them, drop your guard, and show them your bitterness.
You whine that people shouldn't "discard" you even though you're so bitter, but that right there is a sign of entitledness. People have one life, why spend it with someone bitter who makes you miserable, instead of someone who makes you feel good and happy and helps you get the most out of the one short life you get? They're not "discarding" you, it's not all about you, they are protecting their own right to seek happiness in life. You try to paint it as if it's all about you, removing their agency, and their rights, it's just about you, you, you.
You can ignore what I'm saying, or try to paint me as a bad person for saying it, but it is a fact. And I'm not the one complaining about being "discarded." You're not stuck, you can change. Or you can just blame me for saying it like you blame everyone else, ignore your own agency and responsibility, and stay miserable. Your choice.
I mean, you start with admitting your failure at reading comprehension. Why should I explore your reply further?
Looking through it diagonally - your choice of words, like "bitter", "whine" and "entitledness" doesn't really raise expectations.
The first part is some picture of me painted by your imagination without regard for my comments which admittedly contain a lot of text, often redundant.
The second part is pure demagogy without any essence with some traits of how people bad at motivational rhetoric imagine it.
I mean, however I would feel about various events in my life, I'm happy (literally, this comparison makes me feel much better right now) I'm not you.
If you are reading this expecting to find some answer to your opinions on me, and not a description of you, there will be none.
Pull your head out of your ass so you can see, You are the maker of your own misery.
A completely useless comment.
EDIT:
Half my complaints are about immoral (in my opinion, which is about half of what's important between two people, half is a lot) people pretending to be moral, while I'm making lots of effort to clarify who I am and who they are before allowing myself any feelings.
Another half is about misunderstandings with people I'd die for.
I'd be fine with being completely alone if I confidently knew that I've never met ones of the second kind with romantic perspective, and that I've never mistaken the first kind for the second kind.
The problem is that I'm not sure about the former and the latter happens and takes too much time and effort.
I'm definitely not complaining about people like you or those that would consider you normal not liking me. I don't want you or your kind to like me. Is that clear?
Just wanted to say I agree with you. I'm not a compatible friend for everyone, but just because I have some issues doesn't mean that I'm incapable of good friendship. I've never had a close friend who was only ever positive of negative-- I don't think I've ever met someone I could classify as either. I love my friends, and because I love them I love to be there with them when things are good in their lives and when things are bad.
There's nothing wrong with being depressed, having a generally hard life, or just being cynical. Some people might prefer to be surrounded by happy people, and I don't see a problem with that, but that's not everyone, nor should it be.
For the record, I have walked away from relationships because the other person treated me poorly-- I just don't consider "not being happy/positive enough" to fall into that category.