this post was submitted on 27 Oct 2023
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ADHD
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God yes. I'm basically incapable of maintaining an exercise regimen without relying on a partner to keep me on track. When I lived with my sister, I was consistent enough with running that I eventually ran an entire 5K, and it was one of the proudest moments in my life. Now that I've moved out, I can't stick to a regimen for more than 3 weeks. It also really doesn't help matters that I loathe how I feel when I get super wet (especially when it's because I'm sweating, which makes me super sticky too), and so all the endorphins and good feelings you're supposed to get from exercising are immediately overwhelmed by disgust at how gross I feel and how much I hate the feeling of my clothes sticking to my skin and how much I need a shower and annoyance at how long it'll take to dry off after the shower so I finally stop feeling wrong.
I've basically given up all hope of losing weight and maintaining that weight loss in any permanent capacity, and I fucking hate it. No diet, no exercise plan, no amount of fasting, no amount of self motivation, no medication can overcome my fucking ADHD brain deciding that sitting idle and playing with my distraction box is better than actually taking care of myself.
My only remaining hope is that a combination of Adderall suppressing my appetite, combined with converting the fidgeting I do into just enough activity to qualify as "exercise" if you squint funny enough can help at least maintain my current weight.