this post was submitted on 25 Oct 2023
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The Monkey's Paw

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Want to make a wish? Just ask the Monkey’s Paw! No strings attached.*

Just create a post that starts with “I wish ___”. Other users will then grant you the wish, and probably not how you intended.

^(*)^ ^Strings^ ^definitely^ ^attached.^ ^Satisfaction^ ^not^ ^guaranteed.^ ^Wish^ ^will^ ^likely^ ^backfire.^

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[–] alokir 7 points 1 year ago

Granted. You wake up one day and see a button at the corner of your vision. You think you're hallucinating but you're not. You concentrate on it and a debug menu appears which has all sorts of buttons: undo, redo, stop time, resume time, add money, add strength, set health to max, save, load etc.

It's great! In fact it's the best thing that could ever happen to you. You're free of your depressing life, you can do as you please, you have all the money, all the time, all the chances you could ever want, and you haven't even seen every option yet.

But after a few weeks it starts to dawn on you that this kind of thing should really be impossible. It's like it's straight from a video game. Are you living in a simulation? Is this a test? Is anything real?

The more you think about it the more depressed you get and the things that you enjoyed just days earlier seem meaningless. You explore this debug menu a bit more and you find something that you weren't expecting: the exit button.

As the days go by and you wake up every morning in your huge mansion with the worst hangover ever, you have had enough and you finally press is.

For a moment everything goes dark but then you wake up. Tubes and cables are sticking out of your body and you can barely walk. It's dark and cold, you look around and you see millions of other people hooked up in pods, just like you were. You start to make your way forward, trying to find a way to escape this hell, but it seems to go on for hundreds of kilometers, by your estimation. A few days later you die of dehydration.