The Monkey's Paw

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Want to make a wish? Just ask the Monkey’s Paw! No strings attached.*

Just create a post that starts with “I wish ___”. Other users will then grant you the wish, and probably not how you intended.

^(*)^ ^Strings^ ^definitely^ ^attached.^ ^Satisfaction^ ^not^ ^guaranteed.^ ^Wish^ ^will^ ^likely^ ^backfire.^

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I wish for a deal riddled with caveats. (self.monkeyspaw)

submitted 11 months ago by FireTower to c/[email protected]

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

Granted. As you didn't specify what you wanted in this deal, I will assume hedonism and immortality. You never get sick and your senses that give pleasure or contentedness dull over time. You see hear and speak sharply as you have no empathy for or care to spend time with "ephemeral" beings. You have a robot cat with its memory backed up each night so that you have something to share eternity with. Eventually, your internal emotions are more pressing to you than any external thing.