this post was submitted on 19 Oct 2023
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Programmer Humor

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[–] [email protected] 157 points 1 year ago (5 children)

Technically, SQL is case-insensitive.

Practically, you want to capitalise the commands anyway.

It gives your code some gravitas. Always remember that when you're writing SQL statements you're speaking Ancient Words of Power.

Does that JavaScript framework that got invented 2 weeks ago by some snot-nosed kid need Words of Power? No. Does the database that has been chugging on for decades upon decades need Words of Power? Yes. Words of Power and all the due respect.

[–] hakunawazo 17 points 1 year ago

Reminds me a bit of Skyrim. You are... the query-born.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

I'm going to print this out and frame it on the wall of my office.

[–] Nahdahar 5 points 1 year ago

SeLEct uSERnaMe frOm usERs WhErE fiRStnAmE = 'John';

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

This sounds like something James Mickens would write.

My favourite by him: The Night Watch (PDF)

[–] AnarchistArtificer 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

My God, that's hilarious, thank you for sharing it. I enjoyed "I am like the Statue of Liberty: I accept everyone, even the wretched and the huddled and people who enjoy Haskell."

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Whoops, I accidentally deleted my comment. Here's the link again for posterity: https://www.usenix.org/system/files/1311_05-08_mickens.pdf