this post was submitted on 22 Jun 2023
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You may be doing nothing wrong.
I've noticed something similar today, and it seems to be on a per-instance basis. Some instances federate almost immediately, others take forever. I think it depends in part on how their back-ends are behaving. When my server federates with something that's running well it goes pretty fast because there's only 2 people on my instance and the hardware is pretty decent. On the other hand, some instances have a lot going on.