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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/stocktismo on 2023-06-22 15:07:01+00:00.
I(M31) and my wife (F31) have been married for 7 years now. We recently had a child and it has been amazing. Of course it takes up a lot of our time and energy but completely worth it.
Through out college an highschool i used to play basketball and wrestle competitively i was extremely good and loved both sports. After college i stopped and picked up the hobby of BJJ my wrestling foundation obviously gave me a huge a advantage and i started competing and doing very well. I picked up coaching for a bit of extra income and to offset the time spent training. 4ish hours per day 4 days a week 3 weekdays and one weekend day on top of a regular job. My wife didn't like it much but was supportive anyway. She doesn't really have any hobbies or many close friends.
Fast forward a few years and our son was born. I took a month of of BJJ to help out with the baby. I got a new job with better pay and a few days remote work. After a month i went back to training. It would occasionally come up that i spend to much time away but with her quitting her job to be a SAHM we decided to keep it as is. Within a week or so of getting back into it I had a pretty rough shoulder injury. My competitive career is over but i continue coaching. 2 days week 8 hours on Saturdays and 4 hours on Wednesdays. I have no joy in it anymore but the money still helps.
I started playing basket ball a couple hours once a week. The team i play for practices twice a week. Am i the asshole for wanting to play both days? I'm extremely extroverted and extremely competitive. Essentially all i do is work and don't have any other hobbies or social outlets. My wife is more introverted and would prefer i don't play at all but definitely doesn't want me to play 2 days per week.
Edit : i don't want to continue coaching but she thinks we need the money and don't disagree but i think we would still be fine if i stopped.
Id say, the wife needs to back off... And find something productive to do with her time. A hobby, or something that earns a few dollars here and there.
At your age, now is the time to be busy.