I need major help with this. I am stagnating in life, I don't know where to go next due to this issue.
The things I like to do (in cycles bc,,, as title said i dont stick to hobbies) are always something super competitive or don't make any money. I like to learn, so I dive into all sorts of hobbies like coding, 3D art, vfx, video game development, a whole bunch of random things (but are generally about creation).
I do not have the ambition, motivation, or lasting interest to pursue just one of these things, ESPECIALLY not as a career. If I pick a career path based on a passing interest, I will hate my career and become even more depressed, and honestly just quit no matter the consequences (ive done this with jobs). I literally will pour hours of dedication into learning something random like coding (on this right now), and drop it next week like I never touched it and move on to another thing. I cant force myself to go back to it, either. This is a painful process to me, it's as though my learning is all in vain as I let my knowledge fade away, and worse, this makes it so I CANNOT settle on a career.
If anyone has any advice for me, I am open to every and all suggestions. If you have been through similar and got through it, please let me know how. I do take adderall btw.
edit: thank you all for your thoughtful responses, i have read them and i do plan on answering as soon as i have the time! thank you guys so so much ๐
@minnieo
TWO - WHAT IF CHAOS WAS THE GOAL?
So Step One keeps you afloat. You need to not sink, because Step Two could take years or decades. My tolerable job keeps me afloat, and staying afloat means I have the space to work on this step.
I use this mantra: What if chaos was the goal?
This takes some unpacking because it's not what you've been told before. Everyone tells you to stuff all your uncontrollable creative manic learning into a tidy box, and put your stupid box into a neat cubicle beside all the other tidy boxes that aren't supposed to be dripping in this weeks paint-pouring hyperfixation.
Nah.
What if chaos was the goal?
What if you were supposed to be chaos?
What if your brand of chaos is what people want?
Our life's work is figuring out how to harness some of your unstoppable creative output into... literally anything that will help you make money lmao.
Consider this: There are people who really like those tattoos that look like "unfinished" sketched lines. There are people who pay to watch an artist do some crazy thing in sand. There are people who actually prefer what you consider to be unfinished random works.
Your chaos output? It's not useless, that's the plan, man. CHAOS IS THE GOAL.
I can't help you with this either, you gotta figure it out for yourself. Figure out how to turn your brand of weird brain into something that someone wants.
Yes, you jump around a lot. WHAT IF THAT'S WHOLE THE POINT? Some people do it, and a lot of folks really like that apparently.
MAKE CHAOS THE GOAL.
To be responsible here, you gotta find your tolerable survival baseline. But outside of that, you neeeeed to be figuring out how to convert your chaos energy into something that's going to help you out.
It's not going to be an easy job. You're a ship full of TNT. Everyone else is saying you need to keep a lid on that exploding shit. I'm telling you, keep your boat steady, and let's figure out how to focus your exploding shit into a damn rocketship.
I love every part of this @Shepherd and I love that you asked this @minnieo. I needed this from you both... To know I'm not alone here.
I've been leaning into that chaos more and realizing that hey, so what if I'm painting my basement ceiling at 2am? I'm getting something done, no one's getting hurt, and I'm off tomorrow.
I'm feeling less stress because I'm not trying to force myself into the structure of how I'm "supposed" to be doing things