this post was submitted on 20 Jun 2023
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[–] AFKBRBChocolate 20 points 1 year ago (11 children)

Hmm, I don't think I'm with you. You say men are incels because they're poor and can't find a girl. From what I've seen, they can't find a girl because of deeply rooted, misogynistic beliefs that turn people off. If also like to see your citation for wage stagnation affecting men more than women, because every study I've seen says the wage gap has stayed the same or widened in the last few years. I know many, many men who aren't the strong hunter gatherer type and have loving wives or girlfriends. The difference is those guys aren't assholes.

[–] bozaloshtsh 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (8 children)

they can’t find a girl because of deeply rooted, misogynistic beliefs that turn people off

People aren't born with misogynistic beliefs. They also aren't taught them in school.

also like to see your citation for wage stagnation affecting men more than women

I'm not going to google search for you, but it's pretty easy to see that wage stagnation affects men more because traditionally, men are expected to be the provider for the household and women have traditionally had the option of not starting a career and just finding a man instead. I'm not saying that women are not affected, but they have an economic "out" that men generally don't have.

I know many, many men who aren’t the strong hunter gatherer type and have loving wives or girlfriends. The difference is those guys aren’t assholes.

I'm willing to bet that they also have stable jobs. Also, if you're one of them of course you'd know a bunch of other men who are similar; this says nothing about a large swath of men that the grandparent comment is referring to.

[–] AFKBRBChocolate 10 points 1 year ago (4 children)

People aren't born with any beliefs. What's your explanation for racism, homophobia, fascism, and other hateful views and behavior? People learn that stuff by their environment growing up, and there's an awful lot of toxic masculinity.

And you're argument about poverty and wage stagnation would make more sense if there weren't so many poor people in happy marriages.

No, I hear your argument, but it doesn't seem to hold water to me. The simpler answer is that some men are taught to believe shitty things growing up. Those shitty things lead to shitty behaviors that cause people not to be around them. The worst ones are the ones who believe men should be dominant over women, but are also timid or introverted, making them angry pressure cookers.

[–] bozaloshtsh -2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

And you’re argument about poverty and wage stagnation would make more sense if there weren’t so many poor people in happy marriages.

This doesn't invalidate the argument at all. Of course it's not a all-or-nothing situation. Elliot Rodger was from a wealthy family and had plenty of economic prospects.

The simpler answer is that some men are taught to believe shitty things growing up. Those shitty things lead to shitty behaviors that cause people not to be around them.

This is not the simpler answer because Andrew Tate's following is a relatively new phenomenon. People hear a LOT of things growing up; what sticks with them is a product of their environment. Something like this would not have caught on in the 80s or 90s, even if the zeitgeist was more misogynistic than it is today. I'd wager every man has some kind of misogynistic influence growing up, but what matters is whether they take that to heart. When the economic situation is dire (they know they will never attain the traditional ideal of a provider) it becomes really easy to blame the "other."

[–] AFKBRBChocolate 8 points 1 year ago

This is not the simpler answer because Andrew Tate’s following is a relatively new phenomenon.

The age of social media influencers is also a relatively new phenomena. Tate realized he could tap into all those angry pressure cookers to make money. He posed as something he wasn't, renting cars and places to make him look rich and paying women to pretend to be infatuated with him to give credence that his brand of misogyny makes men successful with women. And it worked. How would one do that 50 years ago?

I'm an old guy, and I knew incel types when I was a kid, but there wasn't an easily accessible community of people telling them that their beliefs were valid. Instead of telling them that their trouble was that they weren't a big enough asshole, the people around them told them to tone it down.

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