Often the " bragging about how normal they are" isn't the way that shakes out. I am thinking more specifically about people who throw tantrums about being called "cis" or "hetero" or "allistic" or even "allosexual" . To a lot of these people they refuse to have any label applied because they figure they should just be assumed the normal and the default and no word should exist that describes their state. To them any descriptive labels are just for "deviations" and being treated on the same footing as a deviation even a little is a threat to the supremacy of normalcy. Often one gets the impression that they want communities of queer or neurotypic people to internally refer to them as "regular people" not so much "normies" as they would probably find that derogatory as well.

Neurodivergence used as an excuse not to improve is just shitty behaviour. For a lot of us knowing our type of Neurodivergence can open doors to figuring out learning styles or work arounds when the something that should work but doesn't. On the other hand sometimes someone will try to force something that provably has never worked for you and not have a lot of empathy when you try and warn them that what they are trying to do has a history of not shaking out for you like they expect it will. It's a two way street. Knowledge of your personal weaknesses and workarounds can be frustrating for other people who see it feom the outside as you not doing what they want because of lack of gumption and willingness to "try" when really you are just very tired trying to do this something for other people have recommended over and over and have developed a boundary to explain that for you it's a fool's errand to try again. To the other person they have never seen all the attempts you have made before doing it their way so to them it just looks like lazy.