this post was submitted on 20 Jun 2023
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I’m lonely. I broke up with my partner Valentine’s Day before last (found out she was cheating on me!). Turned 30 late last year, I work from home, and I’m not super outgoing y’know? I haven’t tried online dating since 2017 prior to this and it just sucks. It’s awful. It’s so hard to get a sense of a person on there so it ends up not being very successful. I’m sick of being in my apartment like fucking Rapunzel in the tower.
Do you feel like going back into the dating pool now?
I say this because I broke up with my partner one month ago, dating since 2018, and I feel that after 4 months my healing process will still not be finished. Do you have any friends around, maybe old acquaintances you can have a drink with? I don't work from home, so my coworkers (who I surprisingly adore) have been instrumental in getting me back to life. Not dating yet, but at least being social. They've been planning events, activities and such, which isn't uncommon for them, but when I was with my partner we would never go to these things.
Don't take this as advice as I'm 100% not suitable to give it, take it more as support. I've also been seeing a therapist (I had a lot of issues that led to the downfall of the relationship), if that's an option for you I would recommend it.
I'm the same age as you, I'm also not super outgoing, so I say: give it time. I was in a bad place after every break up I had and when I rushed things, after a breakup in 2017, it only made it worse. I went out, got drunk and eventually fucking cried. How ridiculous is that?
Until I noticed it was doing me no good, so I decided I would chill at home and that it would eventually pass, because everything fucking passes. Well, it did, and life continued, as opposed to think it was gonna end after the breakup.
Time does wonders. Therapy and getting to know yourself are also great.